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A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?

I wish I hadn't expressed anger as much as I did. Ken would tell me that I felt too entitled to my anger and I think he was right. He was rarely angry, and I wish I would have behaved more as he did, calmer. It would have made him happier. That is my main regret.

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I can't help but feel all of us WISH some stuff was different , I know I do, I have beat the hell out of myself over things I had said or not said , did and didn't do.. we all prolly have some regret we are human after all. I know if it were I who had passed , my Sean would be feeling the same way and I wouldnt want him to. I am so greatful we met so young being our time was cut short.. now to get myself to accept what I just wrote.. I do believe it to be true <3 to us all

Yikes!  I certainly do and it tears me up if I allow it to.

Steve was the rational one-I can honestly say I saw him lose his cool one time and never with myself or the kids.  Shit just didn't bother him. 

A very wise person told me to let the thoughts and feelings of poor behavior go as there is a unspoken understanding,  a special intimacy in a loving marriage that forgives such actions. 

I cling to the understanding that all is forgiven now, where he is, there is no judgement and no regrets. And I'm doing the best I can to apply that same understanding each day while I'm still here. 

 

MsKris.... I needed to hear this! Thank you.
Love your comments, Kris.
Well said.
I have no regrets about my behavior at all.  Though Barry and I were both stubborn and fought sometimes, we had a fantastic relationship and loved each other so much.  We had our ups and downs, but I truly feel we had a wonderful marriage and I didn't act in any way that I regret.  And things that drove me crazy in our relationship, like him refusing to lose an argument and myself being forced to learn to "fight back" lol, I love that about me now.  He made me more assertive, and witty...wow did he ever.  Perhaps it is because we got married so young, at 19, we shaped each other as we grew up together.
((hugs))
Cronan - Kris' comment is for you:  "A very wise person told me to let the thoughts and feelings of poor behavior go as there is an unspoken understanding,  a special intimacy in a loving marriage that forgives such actions."
If that's your biggest regret, you're doing OK. Was this at MD Anderson? I so remember getting into the bed with my husband there. Just think about how hard that was for us (the wives) as well. Our husband's didn't smell the same or look the same. Those were tough days and I know yours were tough like mine after reading your description of your husband's treatment. My husband got so mad at me one day in the hospital that he threw a water bottle at me, but he was all irrational from taking so many drugs, from being so weakened, and from living in a hospital with all those beeps and interruptions for so long. I'm sorry you feel bad about that moment when you wouldn't get into the bed, but I hope you know that it doesn't define how much you cared for him. xx
I have many regrets.  I regret getting angry over stupid things....like leaving shoes out in the dining room instead of putting them in the bedroom or closet.  I regret not living my life more like my husband did.  He always saw the best in people and was so kind and welcoming.  Not that I'm not kind...I am, but I would get annoyed by people and feel taken advantage of at times.  Not him.  I regret not traveling more with him and for being content with just being together at home.  We should have experienced more of an active life together.  But, most of all I regret the times I got annoyed or frustrated with him for no reason.  It was because of me (being tired from work or stressed with family issues) that caused the annoyance...not him.  That I will regret the rest of my life.
This is one of the hardest things for me right now.  I have so many regrets.  Mainly, that I wish I was more understanding during his illnesses and handled things better.  The stress of having to take care of him along with 3 high needs kids did not bring out the best in me by any means.  I said many things I now wish I didn't.  I thought he didn't try hard enough to stay healthy, or was always trying to get out of working or helping with the kids. The day he died he was released from the hospital.  I was told that day he was terminal and there wasn't any more that could be done.  I was so nervous about him coming home.  I didn't think I could handle it, I thought I would do something wrong and kill him.  I was dreading this so much, then he dies on the porch coming into the house.  It was going to happen sooner rather than later anyway, but sometimes think if I didn't have those thoughts about him coming home maybe he would of held on longer.  I just hope he knows I did love him.
Peg ... he knows.

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