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I wish I hadn't expressed anger as much as I did. Ken would tell me that I felt too entitled to my anger and I think he was right. He was rarely angry, and I wish I would have behaved more as he did, calmer. It would have made him happier. That is my main regret.
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I can't help but feel all of us WISH some stuff was different , I know I do, I have beat the hell out of myself over things I had said or not said , did and didn't do.. we all prolly have some regret we are human after all. I know if it were I who had passed , my Sean would be feeling the same way and I wouldnt want him to. I am so greatful we met so young being our time was cut short.. now to get myself to accept what I just wrote.. I do believe it to be true <3 to us all
Yikes! I certainly do and it tears me up if I allow it to.
Steve was the rational one-I can honestly say I saw him lose his cool one time and never with myself or the kids. Shit just didn't bother him.
A very wise person told me to let the thoughts and feelings of poor behavior go as there is a unspoken understanding, a special intimacy in a loving marriage that forgives such actions.
I cling to the understanding that all is forgiven now, where he is, there is no judgement and no regrets. And I'm doing the best I can to apply that same understanding each day while I'm still here.
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