A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
We've shared ideas about how to help folks, and what to do when you know your partner is going to die. But what would you tell someone who's just lost their partner, during the time when their life is upside-down and they can't see straight? What were your first days (weeks, months, years....?) like?What would you tell someone?
Thanks for sharing, the " I try to remember how well loved I was by my husband, how proud he was of me, and that he would want me to live my life the best I can.
My husband was proud of my courage, strength and endurance of the things I was able to do, and the assistance I was to others.. I guess it took reading your words to help remind me <3
I would tell someone....
from the very first minutes when you have to make decisons that you thought you would never have to make alone trust your heart , your instinct. Somewhere deep inside you is the place that tells you what is the right thing for you . Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months time does go by and somewhere in here, in your own process of greiving(not someone else's) the hurt will ease just a little.
Surround yourself with only those people that will love you unconditionally and support you no matter how crazy you are
Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to cry and heal
You don't have to answer to anyone but yourself.
Someone says something totally insensitive like " you are still young and beautiful and will find someone else" just turn around and without saying a word walk away. They will get the message loud and clear :)
Sometimes we don't get the answers to our "whys" here in this time on earth.
To cherish your memories, honor your love daily and never forget that life is precious.
Dear Steve and Anita,
Rachel finished her work on earth, and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts, as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so violently. Is anyone strong
enough to stay conscious through such teaching as you are receiving?
Probably very few. And even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and
peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and
I can't assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is Rachel's legacy to you. Not that she or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion. For
something in you dies when you bear the unbearable, and it is only in that
dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love
as God loves.
Now is the time to let your grief find expression. No false strength. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to Rachel, and thank her for being with you these few years, and encourage her to go on with whatever her work
is, knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience.
In my heart, I know that you and she will meet again and again, and
recognize the many ways in which you have known each other. And when you
meet you will know, in a flash, what now it is not given to you to know: Why
this had to be the way it was.
Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts – if we can keep them open to God – will find their own intuitive way. Rachel came through you to do her work on earth, which includes her manner of
death. Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is
invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space. In that deep love,
I particularly like the sentence: Now her soul is free, and the love that you can share with her is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space.
Thank you for the link to that beautiful letter. I lost my husband on March 12th and am having a difficult time coping.The letter was inspirational