mls64 I totally agree.
I am an "extroverted introvert", which means I enjoy being with other people, but I need a good deal of time at home by myself. Emphasis on "at home." For me, a weekend away is not half as enjoyable as a weekend at home when I can just relax. I feel no need or desire for another male companion. Sometimes it bothers me that I like this life so much; it makes me feel like the 30 years I was with my husband made no sense. Maybe it's that during those years I was a younger and different person for whom marriage was fulfilling, but now I am old and crabby (*grin*) and I like to go my own way.
I have now been on my own for a year and 1/2. I lost my husband and then my Mom, so I have no family left except my inlaws. I never have lived by myself ever, (I'm 55) but I am very comfortable doing so. I am a believer that you have to be happy alone and can't expect someone else to make you happy in life, that is something you have to do yourself. Having a partner or someone in your life is just a bonus, the only person you can really rely on is yourself.
I've just passed five years since Ray died. He was in care for the fifteen month prior to his passing so I have been alone for a long time. For the first few years it was really hard, and I missed him terribly. Then my life settled down and I tried dating an older man but could see it was not what I wanted and he was the same having been alone for a long time.. It is not easy to fit in with someone else's schedule at my age (70) so we are still friends but that is all. I feel better about being alone now. Maybe I will find another person to do some eating out or going to the movies with but for now my widowed friends are the people I eat out with. At 70 being alone is not the worse thing that happens.
It seems to me that someday's I feel fine alone... Other days, I wish I wasn't alone. But if I need to be out amongst others, I just leave the house. I hope that is normal.
I'm looking forward to becoming a Grandma for the first time. It won't be long now. She is due on Oct. 26 :-) I'm trying to concentrate on that and that only.
I'm looking so forward to this baby boy. :-)
There are times when I am fine when I'm on my own and times when I hate it. I had a good Christmas but now everyone I know seem to have plans for January (which is school holidays here) and my routine is disrupted as most of the organisations I belong to close down for at least three weeks so I have little to do and too much time on my own. When I was part of a family that was rest and relaxation time now it seems slow and boring.