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I'll be having my 2 children and their families over for Easter afternoon.  My husband died shortly before Easter in 2015.  We went out of town for the first one, when we were still in shock.  We had the second one here, and then my family has been out of town for the last two years.  I'm ashamed to say I have butterflies in my stomach thinking about it.  We've had some family stress over the winter and that makes me nervous.  But I feel we need to start being together more, as we were so close and enjoyed every holiday to the fullest when my husband was here.  Some of my grandkids are still young, and they deserve to have the fun of the Easter egg hunt like my older ones did.  I still miss my husband, and it's much worse when my family is together without him.  He always hid the eggs ( as many times as the kids wanted).  I know my kids and older grandkids miss him too.  But we just have to go on and hope we can one day have truly happy times, without that little gray cloud just over our shoulders.  We have the great memories, but haven't yet come to the point of them making us happy.  He was a very special man, and we lost him so suddenly, our hearts are healing very slowly.  Thanks for letting me vent.


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Holidays are always hard as a widow. I am six years out but always face them with apprehension. I question who will ring me, if anyone will be here with me. I have just had my younger son and his daughter with me, he has her the first week of every school holiday and they come here. I will spend the rest of Easter alone. After six years that is okay but was hard for the first years as the family had always come to us for special holidays. Looking back I think it was for their father's sake rather than for mine.


Holidays are hard -- hope you got through this one, my friend. You're lucky to have children and their families over -- hopefully it went well.   Me -- not so much, not even a phone call. Frozen pizza -- and watched a movie on TV --  walked the dog -- now time for bed.  Holidays are lonely when the one you love is gone...  what can I say except it sucks.  Take care. And just take it day by day... all you can do, day by day. And glad you had your family today.  Take care

Today was my first Easter without my Tony. Thank God for a day filled with church  activities related to the resurrection. I was busy from 8a to 4p. The assignments I had actually helped me to focus on something other than my own personal loss. My daughter was with me for the main service and I have relatives who attend the same church so that was comforting. I did cry a few tears when I got home but  I was so tired I quickly fell asleep. My grandchildren sent me pictures of themselves in their Easter outfits ( a gift from grandma). That put a smile on my face. And my oldest son sent me a lovely message. All I can say is I made it!

This first Easter without Dan was bitter sweet.  My oldest son and family (1 granddaughter) and my brother were with me.  My younger son chose to be elsewhere and he has been distant. I felt strongly that half of my family was missing, both my husband and son.  And  now with warmer weather my husband would have the grill going several times a week.  I have yet to grill any thing myself.  The crabapples are blooming and we enjoyed those colorful trees in our yard and while I planted a small garden, it was my husband who would have been so busy with it at this time of year.  I think the summer memories will be as strong as the winter holiday memories.  There are long lonely evenings either way.


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