No,cemeteries are not the wrong place to hang out. I go every Saturday and Sunday to put flowers on Lupe's crypt. You're right, her soul is not there, but after I put the flowers on her crypt, I still take the time to let her know how I'm doing and what I'm doing. I figure she's listening, somewhere and somehow.
I say do what you have to do to help with expressing your feelings. My husband's spirit is everywhere so why not in the cemetery. I visit him with and feel closer to him, his body is there. The body is a vessel, yes, but his body was a part of his living self. I feel good to put flowers, flags, and to talk to him. My therapist told me to visit less only because she said that it allows me to have more time for me, this is now my life. I am now a single mother, time is precious, and visiting my husband takes the time I need to take care of me, point taken. I visit my Love when I feel a strong desire to and on special occasions. Do what is right for you Mike, I have facebook for entertainment not for important life lessons. Take care.
Sometimes even the best of friends don't exercise the best judgement. A close friend of mine also posted something on Facebook (FB) that was written in general terms but I knew she was referring to me. She even called me to ask if I was offended by it. I told her that I was not so that she would not feel worse. Ironically, I sometimes find myself trying to comfort others while I am grieving. In any case, there was no real damage done, and she did not name me, so I just let it go.
On another occasion, a different friend had taken a snapshot of me at a gathering and said she was going to post it on FB. With her fingers at the ready on her phone, I gently put my hand on hers and looked at her as I said, "Please don't - I don't like it." Thankfully, she respected my wishes. Sometimes you just need to be polite but firm.
If this brings you comfort, go for it! This is YOUR grief, YOUR way of remembering her, YOUR place of peace. At some time, you will learn to remember your wife in your heart -- but now is not that time. Wishing you all the best.
I am not a believer in life after death, but it was still important to me to make a grave that I think Sharon would have liked. Intellectually I believe that Sharon is gone, and for the most part I feel it emotionally as well. For the most part, but not completely.
I visit Sharon’s grave occasionally as a way of bringing parts of me to the surface that don’t find much room in my new life. For all that I know she is gone there are still parts of my heart that haven’t got that message, there are still echoes and whispers of the love I felt, and the stillness of her graveside is somewhere that I go so those parts of me have a chance to be heard.
So, no matter what you believe comes after this life, a cemetery is not the wrong place to hang out. If you feel that the visits are helping you then going to that place in the world is taking you to the places in your heart that you need and want to go.