Our anniversary is the 22nd (would have been our 35th this year) and my wife's birthday is the 26th.
I went through this six years ago. Judith died on July 20th.
Just keep breathing and be kind to yourself.
Both of those are difficult, especially now.
Our 10 year anniversary is Aug 21. Does it even count since he's dead? He died suddenly of a heart attack nearly 4 years ago at age 48. I thought I was doing better but now that our anniversary is coming up in one week, I'm a wreck. I'm hating life.
Yes - it does count, Petal ... and I believe it always will! Find a way to mark that special day - whatever might be best for you.
I spent the first year in the house all alone by choice. The next year I attended Brave Girl Camp - all alone, not knowing any of the women - but wrapped up in love the entire time I was there. The third year I drove his convertible up to Mt. Charleston for a lunch amid the pines and just reflected upon all of the wonderful memories of our years together. The fourth & fifth years I did 'Pay It Forwards" on that day (well, actually last year I ended up being in a funk on that day so didn't do the PIFs until the following day ... and that is actually very ok).
I've not yet decided what I'm doing this year ... August 23 would have been our 47th wedding anniversary - but I know it will involve Pay It Forwards because they have really resonated with me. He died just 30 days later (September 22) so this time of year is hard, even as I approach six years without him. I believe they always will be hard. So we just need to figure out how best to honor them and hold ourselves up on these hard days.
If interested, here's links to my blog posts about those days:
For me it does count. It's a time to honor Cindy and the time that we spent together. (((Petal)))
I had originally posted this in the main forum, but I think that it is better suited to be here
An Open Letter to Amy, My Wife
Today, August 22, 2016 would have been our Anniversary. Amy, we would have been married for 35 Years. Married to my girlfriend, my counselor, my confidant, my conscience, my partner, my heart, my nurse, my patient, my love, and my rock. Mom always told me that I should marry above myself and I did that. I have not been able to give you a hug or a kiss for almost two months. The pain at times is unbearable, yet at other times I smile and I laugh and I know that what we had, what we have will last forever. I see pictures of you and your smile fills my soul.
Your grandchildren ask when they can see you. I tell them that you are in their hearts and will be there forever.
Your children miss you and they will hold you in their hearts forever also.
I cry every day, sometime a little, sometimes a lot. This is okay. It hurts so much, and this is okay.
I would do it all again. I would do it all the same way, the good times, the tough times, the mistakes. These are the things that made us. I would do it all again. I would also hold you in my heart just as I do right now. Just as you hold me in your heart…
I love you. I miss you. Happy Anniversary.
Bro Hugs, Mark.
The 22nd would have been *our* 35th anniversary as well.
You were quite eloquent.
August 22, 1981 was truly a wonderful day, for both of us for all four of us....Nothing can ever take that away from either of us
Have a great evening