August triggers and sharing ... what hits you? The heat, back to school shopping, vacation...

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by A Widowed Father on August 1, 2011 at 9:58pm

Well August is my birthday, but that only sucks because it means that Hannah doesn't get to go shopping with Mommy to get me a present.  I'll make up for it any buy myself something though.  Just sucks that she doesn't get to do something for me.

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Permalink Reply by Taunje on August 1, 2011 at 10:11pm

I totally get the birthday thing...it sucks that the boys won't ever have the experience of going out and buying presents for their parents with the other parent - I bought myself a lil' something this year and told myself it was for my birthday, too.  :)

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Permalink Reply by Marly on August 1, 2011 at 9:59pm

Not a good month for me, Supa.  Jimmy died on the 7th, I hate the combination of high heat/humidity.  Bring on September and the autumn season - my favorite.

 

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Permalink Reply by twinsmum on August 1, 2011 at 10:29pm

my birthday too....not that much in the mood to celebrate though.  Craig was never one for presents - although when he did he bought a decent one.  If he didn't buy me a present it cost him more in the end as I went out and bought my own.  Cannot be bothered anymore my money is more important on other things.  BUT in saying that my boys asked me what I wanted - how sweet.  Unfortunately they don't have money so it's a bit difficult.  I said a homemade card and even a $1 scratchie would be nice. My girlfriend said I should give the boys $20 each take them up the shops and let them go in and work out something to buy me so it will be a surprise for my birthday. I quite like that idea and it would be interesting to see what I would get.  "I reckon I would find them in the toy isle".  So for now I will see.  The same girlfriend said we are going out to lunch and I have no say in the matter.  So maybe it may not be so bad.  And it is my MIL 2 days after mine...so that will be sad for her too.  She wanted to have a big party for her 65 last year but that did not eventuate as she didn't cope very well for months.  I spoke to her the other day and she says the saddest part for her is that she misses Craig so much that it hurts.  So for him not being there at the birthday dinner this year will be another nail in the heart :(

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Permalink Reply by Par4 on August 17, 2011 at 3:54am

I love the idea to take your boys to the store so they could buy you a birthday gift. Wouldn't it be nice if your friend who SUGGESTED that took them??? Just sayin.... People just don't understand at all do they?

 

Hope you have a peaceful B-day twinsmum.

 

 

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Permalink Reply by freddieb on August 1, 2011 at 11:10pm

My birthday, August 9.  Birthdays in our family have always been a big deal and when Walter and I married I loved that he absolutely loved celebrating every special occasion, but most especially, our birthdays.  Since his birthday is July 30 and mine is August 9, it was really nice.  After we had been married for 10 years (in 2005), Walter and the kids planned a special surprise party for me.  At the party, Walter asked me to marry him again, he actually got down on one knee and proposed and gave me a ruby and diamond ring.  One of the Ministers from our church was there to perform the ceremony and we renewed our marriage vows right there.  My daughter ordered us a beautiful cake so it was like a small, intimate reception with about 25 people.  I'll never forget that birthday, it was a beautiful time in our lives.  I just can't believe that only 4 years later he was gone.  It teaches me that life is so precious and that the people we love and who love us are precious too and we should never stop letting them know what they mean to us. 

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Permalink Reply by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on August 1, 2011 at 11:29pm

Three impending triggers for me this month:

1) Wedding anniversary

2) 6 month mark

3) Late husband's birthday

 

Blah.

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Permalink Reply by Deborah on August 2, 2011 at 7:49am

Becoming an empty nester.  My youngest will head off to college at the end of this month.  He took two years off between hs and college, he needed the time to deal with the accident and all.  I have been blessed, my daughter went to college the fall right after the accident and I moved close to the university, as much to support her as to find some place where I could be involved and find some change and stability, all at the same time.  So she has been close by all along.  My son has lived with me and I have so enjoyed spending this much time with him, he is a wonderful young man now and Tim would be so proud and impressed by the love and support he has given me.  

Well, now comes another life change.  No kids at home!.  I will miss Andrew so very much but it is the best thing for him.  Go and find himself, spread his wings and see where life takes him.  However, now I need to adjust to another "new normal", God, how I hate that term!  I will miss Andrew so very much but along with that comes the grieving for the life that Tim and I would have had once the kids were grown.  We had planned so much.  We looked forward to traveling, spending time doing the things we always wanted, spending time together again.  Working on the things we enjoyed, both separately and together, knowing the other was just down the hall, engaged in their own hobby, interest, activity, whatever.  Now here I sit, knowing I will survive this, look what I have already survived.  But scared that it just might be the thing that sinks me.  I never dreamed that at 53 I would be all alone.  I have spent my life caring for my family, I am busy outside the home, but that was not my first concern.  Now, my kids are off to begin their lives and I am so proud and thrilled that they have started to bloom and have regained some measure of confidence, perhaps even more than they had before, because of what they have endured.  I will watch them grow and guide them and be here for them, but they will not be back, at least not back to the way we have always been.  They will always be my children, but now they will be becoming my grown, more independent children and I wonder how to take my next step.  Will I always be alone?  I don't really want to date.  Most of my friends are married and have families keeping them busy.  I have not managed to feel "safe" outside in social situations.  I run a company, so I am not unable to leave the house, I just don't know where to go and trying to get involved in new activities is so draining on me emotionally that I tend to not want to do that.  

This empty nest thing, well, it is just another new normal that I am not sure I know how to handle.  

I survived the last new normal, and will survive this.  Just need to find the energy and motivation to put one foot in front of the other.  

I know my son will be back, but boy, I will miss him.

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Permalink Reply by Dianne in Nevada on August 2, 2011 at 10:59pm

Have missed you and Joe around here, Krista. Hope you're both ok. 

• August 23rd would have been our 42nd wedding anniversary. I'm taking the day off work; not sure what I'll do with the day yet.

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Permalink Reply by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on August 2, 2011 at 11:08pm

Hi, Dianne,

We're both hanging in there. (I'll send you a message in a bit.)

The 23rd would have been Mike's 35th birthday. :( Don't know what we will be doing on that day. I think his mother and sister may want to do something, but I am not sure how I feel about it or what I want to do. Part of me wants to get some of his friends together and just reminisce, but it's on a weekday, so I don't see that happening. 

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Permalink Reply by denisec on August 2, 2011 at 8:55pm

August 29, 2011 would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. Two years ago we spent our 28th anniversary at the wedding of a dear family friend. I have one of my most favorite pictures of the two of us dancing at this wedding. Jim didn't like having his picture taken after he was ill but these turned out beautifully and we had a wonderful time at their wedding. I think he actually liked the pictures.
Our son will be getting married 4 days later this year on September 2nd. This, like every other first since Jim died in 2010 will be bittersweet.
This year Jim's chemotherapy nurse will join me to toast the wonderful years that we did have together...not as many as I would have liked but I am thankful for each one just the same.

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Permalink Reply by Iris on August 3, 2011 at 1:58am

My husbands 45th birthday on the 8th. I will be working and we are planning to go to dinner  at his fsvorite restaurant in the evening with best friends. No idea how difficult the day may get... I made it through our 25th anniversary last month, so anything after that should be easier, right? Ughhh

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