August triggers and sharing ... what hits you? The heat, back to school shopping, vacation...

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Permalink Reply by greyeyes10 on August 3, 2011 at 1:09pm

August: Found  out the 1st my mother's business is moving, into my house.

My hsubands 28th birthday

The first anniversary of his death

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Permalink Reply by Deborah on August 3, 2011 at 7:19pm

So very sorry.  

 

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Permalink Reply by Debbie on August 3, 2011 at 8:06pm

August 22nd would have been our 13th wedding anniversary...Also our beach vacation week...this year I will be spreading his ashes at the beach where we met, fell in love and later became engaged. I miss him so very much.

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Permalink Reply by denisec on August 3, 2011 at 8:23pm

This sounds like a special way to spend the day, under the circumstances. I wish we didn't have to spend these days without the love of our lives, but we do. Hugs to you.

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Permalink Reply by tclaremont on August 3, 2011 at 9:31pm

August was her birthday. It is my daughter's mother's birthday. It is my daughter's birthday. It is my wedding anniversarry with my current wife. Very emotional month to say the least!

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Permalink Reply by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on August 3, 2011 at 10:17pm

This is sort of tangential to your list, but 'current wife' brought back a memory o' my late husband.

I was married once before I married Mike, and I would refer to my ex as 'my ex-husband' and Mike as my 'current husband.' He would always tease me about it, like, "Hey! What do you mean 'current' husband? Is there a future one I should know about?"

(Little did either of us know he would die so young, making that a very real possibility. Sigh.)

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Permalink Reply by Macduff (Hal) on August 4, 2011 at 6:56am

Two things hit me equally hard this August. One is how much my wife loved the beach and how she worked her vacation schedule to work from 5-8 PM so she could have every day off to go to our favorite beach, her favorite place in the world. This is my second summer without her. I won't go to the beach. I can't believe it is the second  summer with no Betty to share it with. The second summer! It seems impossible.

 

The second thing, as I look forward to the annual August visit from our best friend from Georgia, is remembering how for the 22 years we lived in Massachusetts we looked forward together so very much to seeing him. 

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Permalink Reply by Tommi on August 4, 2011 at 7:53am

We shared our birthdays in August....mine the 23d and his the 20th.  Although we always said we weren't going to exchange gifts because we would do that throughout the year for each other, he always got me something.  I have gathered all the cards we gave to each other throughout the 18 years we were together.  I'm sure someday I will be able to sit down and look through them.  Right now, it just sends me into a terrible crying jag.....I miss him so much.....

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Permalink Reply by SheketEchad on August 5, 2011 at 12:18pm

August is the month we ran around house shopping two years ago, including trips to Indiana, Tennessee and Ohio, which he was delighted for me to see (part of his childhood was spent there).  It is also the month that he died. This will be the 2nd anniversary of Joel's death, and I am back in Florida where most of our 15  years were spent, due to new employment.  My first two weeks here, I had to drive past the house he lived in where we met and his mom's house every single day en route to work.  Being back here has tilted me a bit into the manic stage to avoid the deadening sadness of being where we spent so many years together; seeing places we went just trips me up.   

 

I've also lost my 'quiet' space as I'm rooming with a lady I work with so there's no place to mope (which I need to do since I'm "on" during the day at work).  I crave the solitude that I had on my farm, but it will be years before I will get to return to it.

 

But I know all of this will pass, I just have to get through it.  I suspect my MIL will want to do something for him; last year we scattered his ashes on our favorite beach.  This year I would just like to be alone - maybe take a walking tour of our favorite little beach bars and pool halls, I dunno.  Flux.  I am still in tremendous flux and it is accentuated by the fact that I am back in our old stomping grounds...

 

~SE

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Permalink Reply by WiddaWithHope on August 8, 2011 at 10:52pm

Today marks the 9 month mark. It feels like an eternity ago and yesterday all at the same time. This is a trigger every month. But later this week is a biggie. Our oldest starts kindergarden. I have a great pic of him and her on the first day of preschool last year. They are just so happy together. I'm hoping to get my mom to take a pic of us together on Thursday. Even though I'm very excited about it, I'm taking a huge step and going to Camp Widow this weekened. This will be the longest I've been away from the kids and the first time I have traveled by myself in 15 years. this month has a lot of firsts that are helping me work my grief but they are triggers too.

Oh and the 90 degree weather with full humidity isnt helping.

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Permalink Reply by Dianne in Nevada on August 9, 2011 at 12:40am

I understand it won't be easy, but I'm so pleased you're coming to Camp Widow. I hope that it brings you some smiles and growth and healing ...so you can return home to your children renewed and stronger.  I'll be there, too ... hope we get a chance to say hello.

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Permalink Reply by pegster999 on August 15, 2011 at 10:23am

Today is Mike's birthday.  He would have been 36 years old.  Way too young to be gone.  Cancer sucks!

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