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The movie "Bucket List" came out AFTER my LH died and it seemed weird to me, then, the idea of preparing a list of things to do before you die... and I am not really someone to pick up on this sort of trend.
It's been long enough now to not seem morbid to me (for example, I have a will and EOL plan, at last!), and the idea of the bucket list has proven pretty durable. I'm hoping to actually retire someday and be able to do things like travel, which just seemed unnecessary and impossible a few years ago... (Still seems hard to imagine where the money would come from though!)
Would love to hear your thoughts... and plans... whether they're pie-in-the-sky or whether you've already reached them!
Last year, for my birthday, I took a Hot Air balloon ride. That was on my bucket list. I would like to go zip lining as well. This August I am going to The Channel Islands camping,kayaking and snorkling, something I've wanted to do for over 10 years.
There were many places Dave and I had been before he was in the wheelchair and many other places we had wanted to travel to. Like Australia and New Zealand.
My ultimate goal is to be able to purchase a nice travel trailer/truck outfit and travel across the states someday if I am ever able to retire!
These are just a few.
Oh Sherbear, I hope you are able to reach your ultimate goal, that was our dream to get a travel trailer/truck combo and travel across the states.
SherBear, have a wonderful time on your trip in August. I have been snorkeling several times and it is absolutely one of favorite things to do. I know you will feel like you have entered another world. Deep admiration for carrying on the travel and adventure that you once were able to do with Dave. That is so strong and brave and will give so much life back to you.
Sending you hugs and admiration,
I think the bucket list idea is wonderful. My husband was such an adventurer and outdoors man. We did many terrific things at his encouraging. I'm much more shy by nature, but with him I could do anything. I was terrified of flying, so he took me up in a plane and handed the controls over to me. He wouldn't allow me to run away from things.
Since his death, I've noticed that the fearful side of me wants to creep back in. I'm making conscious efforts to not let that happen. We loved to walk our dog at night. Since his death, I've continued to walk the dogs (now 3 of them) at night. People keep warning me about the dangers of doing it. I simply decided not to be afraid. I love looking at the stars, cloud, moon, and aircraft. Ken loved flying. As I walk, I keep thinking that now his flight is limitless. It's a beautiful thought.
I love the bucket list idea because it would encourage me to do the things we had planned for our future. Then I would have to add things that were of my own to it.
Keep walking those dogs, sweetie, and love the moon and the stars. Hold onto that bravery and imagine Ken's incredible powers of flight. He has earned them and you have earned the right to hold all that is you. Remember, you are always braver than you think. I beleve is was Pooh that said that!
Thanks, Suz. Those are the things that bring me joy. So far, I've been braver than I though. I'm starting to think that if I just take it one day at a time that I'll make it out of this fog and back into the light. Thank you for the encouragement. We can all use that. Juliana
i don't have a bucket list have said these things to myself after jim died:
"oh cool, i saw the end of a rainbow! i can die now"
"oh rad, i saw my kid learn how to ride a bike! i can die now"
"oh man. the harry potter movies are over, i have nothing else to live for..." (my LH actually used to make a joke like this)
"omg! that cheese burger was so amazing! i can die now"
just stupid little things like that. the only thing i really want to do before i die is see death coming, but we can't really control that.
I really don't understand the bucket list theory. I mean if you're gone, what difference does it make? Will you feel more satisfied in your death? Doubt that. My Husband did want to do the racecar thing at Daytona which he did. He didn't know he was dying at the time . In a bad mood tonight, went to a charity event and two people asked me where my husband was....
So sorry Grace. How hard to have people ask you where your husband was! When Jud was dying, people all of a sudden started to make bucket lists. While I thought the idea was fine, I was so mad when they talked about it because he wasn't able to make one.
On the positive, less crabby side, we got to go to France during a month he felt good and also took a trip to Quebec City and Montreal. Spent more month than we should of and had a wonderful time. We took a barge ride down the Canal du Midi in Southern France and it was fantastic. We went with one other couple and had our own very gourmet chef and a guide. I know this was something that Jud always wanted to do so we did get to do something on his Bucket List.
When I climbed the east face route on Mt. Whitney, as I pulled onto the top, I told my partner "That's it, my life is now over. I've now done everything I've ever set out to do in my entire life." I was so down after that, no more goals. I've made more goals since then, right now I have three that are on the bucket list:
1. Run with the bulls in Pamplona
2. Climb El Capitan
Once I finish those, i guess I'll have to find some more to add to the list.
I ran with the bulls in Pamplona with my late husband and three sons. It was on his bucket list and I'm so glad that he got to do it...and we got to share it with him.
The people of Pamplona are so welcoming. The Festival of San Fermin was great fun. We dressed for it (white pants and shirt and red scarf. We drank wine in the streets and danced like no one was watching. It was amazing.