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Can't Sleep! Anyone else?
From the day Mike was diagnosed, and still ongoing I've struggled with insomnia. I haven't slept a full night in months. Like tonight, I just can't shut my mind off. Last week it was tears, and lots of them. When I can get to sleep, I usually wake up a couple hours later. Sometimes it was from a dream, sometimes a panic attack, other times it was for no good reason at all. I have 3 young kids. This, along with a couple hours in the AM when they are all in school, is the only time I have alone. The only time I really have to work through my emotions, my grief. While I know this is important, the lack of sleep is really getting to me. I hope this works itself out in time.
Any other night owls out there with me?
Views: 313
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by A Widowed Father on -
I slept in like 3 or 4 hour spurts for a while - still do now and then - I think it's the lack of a warm body to snuggle up to in bed, takes a while to get used to sleeping alone.
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Permalink Reply by sadwidow on -
Since my husband passed away, I am so scared at night. Like you, I get panic attacks where my heart is racing while I am laying down. I have slept on the couch since he left. I am so full of fear cuz I am now completely alone in this house. I do have two small dogs but still I am scared. I am constantly having dreams of my husband being sick and it just drains me. I wish I had someone else here, even children. The loneliness and the fear of being alone is driving me crazy. I know that is not what you meant by insomnia, but this is what I have been experiencing for 2 1/2 years. I wake up about every 2 to 3 hrs just to make sure everything is ok in the house. This may seem ridiculous, but it is awful to live with.
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Permalink Reply by Jeanne on
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My husband died in December 2010, and I haven't slept a full night since that day. I can't get to sleep, and when I do, I wake up a lot. Probably only get a total of 4 hours a night. I keep the TV on for company, and that helps sometimes...but it's just the waking up and being TOTALLY alert that I can't stand. I'm not having any dreams but I know I'm just not getting enough rest. I think this is "normal"...post-trauma maybe...?
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Permalink Reply by kimmig on
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i am not scared but i understand how you feel. i sleep on the couch now.
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VOLUNTEERPermalink Reply by Supa Dupa Fresh on -
I know so many widows who are on sleeping medications, and they really scare me. I'm lucky -- I've always been a talented sleeper -- but after Gavin died I had a lot of trouble. I put this CD on my iPod (Plus 1/2 hour of relaxing music or someone reading poetry) and it worked GREAT. And no side effects!
Belleruth Narparstek, Health Journeys: A Meditation to Help You with Healthful Sleep
Amazingly, for another 20 bucks they now sell a version with earbuds attached... no iPod required!
I like this so much because I can use it, or not, and repeat it at 2 am for that vital second tough stretch.... or for a napa. No side effects, no weight gain....
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Permalink Reply by Krista Westervelt (whoknows) on -
I saw this on here the other day and downloaded it, because I too have the dreaded couple hours of sleep followed by panicky waking. Found it to be pretty useful in helping me get back to sleep. Thanks for sharing it.
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Permalink Reply by postal widow on
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I go to sleep but generally do not sleep thru very rare, usually up a couple of hours a night , at first I had to have music on from his service to go to sleep to for over a year or 2. Now I have to have the tv on, cant sleep without it on. with a storm sometime and it goes out, then I am up as well...it might be age related as well, who knows!
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Permalink Reply by cindy292 on -
After 3 years I still have trouble sleeping - tried everything - sleeping pills which gave me nightmares; melatonin; white noise machines; CDs for sleep; warm milk and honey; reading slow paced books; on and on. Now , for me, it is still a crap shoot and last night I had at least 5 hours of sleep and I'm celebrating. Tonight? Who knows!
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Permalink Reply by cancerwidow on -
I was a good sleeper until my husband became ill. That's when I started lying awake, listening to him, hoping I'd hear his ear-tearing, air-ripping snore because it would mean he was sleeping well and everything would be ok. Then, we found out he had cancer. I lay awake all that night with wave after wave of panic flooding through me, heart pounding, stomach churning, and that became a habit. I would worry - would he make it through the night? If he was in hospital and I was alone, strangely, I'd sleep very heavily - exhaustion, I think - but when he was home and I was the one on watch, then sleep was a strange and fitful thing.
Now that he's gone, I still don't sleep very well, but for different reasons. I find it hard to get tired in the evening. I wake too often, and every time I do, I'm hit with the 'he's gone - you're on your own' realisation. I wake too early and find myself too alert, already thinking about how I'm supposed to get through another day. I still worry that I didn't do enough to save him. My jaw, neck and head hurt because I'm grinding/gritting my teeth while I sleep - stress. I can only hope it will settle over time.
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Permalink Reply by Skylark on -
I decided right away that if I woke up in the night, I wouldn't stress about it. I just get out my Kindle and read for an hour or so. My kids are grown. Usually all I have to do most mornings is put the dogs out, so I know I can catch a nap later if I need to. It helps that I am on a couple of drugs for other reasons that make me sleep like a log most of the time.
Sometimes I sleep on Philip's side of the bed. It makes me feel better.
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Permalink Reply by pegster999 on -
I'm sorry to see so many are struggling with sleep. While to a point I am used to being alone, I don't think you can totally get used to it. I can't use medications either. I've done some weird things on some sleeping pills. And I need to be able to get up if my kids need me and be able to wake up and be alert enough to get through the day! Thanks for the non med suggestions everyone. Hoping everyone can start sleeping sound and well through the night sometime again, soon.
Peg
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Permalink Reply by Deb on -
Sleep - I am an 8 hour girl - Donald Trump I'm not (apparently he only sleeps 4 hours). I haven't had a solid nights sleep since Michael died in May 10. I use Zopiclone when I need to sleep (a full pill gives me 4 hours, a 1/2 - 2 hours - with no drug hangover. I take them sparingly - definitely Sun Night, so I can start the work week with a little energy... I'm waiting for the day when I wake up refreshed... Grief is simply exhausting.
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