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Here's a spot where you can post your special December remembrances - wedding anniversaries, birthdays, anniversaries of your loss, children's weddings, etc. - and discuss the plans you have to get through those potentially hard days. 

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Ugh, this is just a really lousy MONTH.  I am finding it so hard to do any of what needs to be done for Christmas. With children in the family, I do have to still pull it off... We're at the six month mark and I see that all of my children as well as myself are in a black funk. I am making things as easy on myself as I can, but I am anxious to get past Christmas...however my husband's birthday is Dec 29, also. Lot of memories and flashbacks are coming to mind, and I am still just baffled that this has happened.

I tried to write a few Christmas cards... I am thinking of some people that need to learn of my husband's death this past year...but I couldn't do more than one. I do plenty of sitting and staring, thinking and hand twisting. yuck.

Be kind to yourself Nance. The first Christmas is especially hard and it's ok to not follow your old traditions. With young children, I understand you may still have to do some things - but if they're teens, perhaps sit down with them to see how they want to handle the holidays. You may be surprised. 

My husband died at the end of September and our single adult son & I are the only family here in Nevada - so I asked what he wanted to do that first Thanksgiving. He surprised me when he said he'd prefer to go to a favorite restaurant of his Dad's and create a new tradition (it's a Mexican restaurant). So that's what we did ... and we now have a new tradition that is easier for us to live with. 

And those people you want to share the news with ... it doesn't have to be in a Christmas card. Let that task sit until after the holidays. They will understand.

Dianne, thanks for that... of course what you say all makes sense; I just need to hear it said, I guess.  My youngest daughter is nearly 15 but special needs, still believes in Santa and needs to see a real Christmas in our house. I'm trying!  My older kids are helping a lot.

I think I was hoping to head off getting any Christmas cards addressed to my husband, too, but it's too late, now... if they come I'll know to write those folks after the holidays; you're right. thanks!  I appreciate your reply! 

On December 28th, it will be eight years since my husband passed. I still think of him each and every day, remembering all the good times we shared and how fortunate we both were to have found one another. Our time together was not nearly long enough but those years were the best! It seemed to take a very long time to work through the grief--five years plus but we all know it's not the same as getting over "it" because "it" has been woven into the fabric of our life. Things may be different, but life is still good. That's mainly because of the love we shared. Still misssing you, Bill!


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