Jud and I chose cremation, partly because it was a quicker method of "dust to dust, ashes to ashes" but also because of the price of burial. I still found out the the cost of death in this country is so much! I am so annoyed with this "funeral" or "death" business.
His "cremains" (a made-up word by the "industry" will be buried in July in South Dakota where he grew up (I will keep some to spread in his special place, "the Black Hills.") This now will involve a graveside service, a luncheon. etc. It also involves a gravestone for the family (I am not sure how much of this I will pay but I saw the price on the one they were looking at and yikes!!!). Not to mention, the renting of chairs, and on it goes. I already paid for one funeral and was shocked at all of the hidden costs. I just realized this morning that his family would not be so excited about the cardboard box that the ashes are in and i looked for boxes on the internet. The first one I saw was $375! For a dumb little box! Has anyone else felt annoyed at the incredible costs of dying in this country or do just consider it a way to honor your loved one. Frankly, I am appalled.
YES! Mike's body was donated to a medical school, we had a visitation at the funeral home, and a religous service at our church. The body was already at the school. I still paid over $5000. Let me add the funeral home people did NOTHING to help with the donation of his body. They wouldn't look into it at all. I had to do it all myself. I still am not sure what I paid for!
YES! I get SO annoyed. Just another huge blow to the grief stricken family.
I think that " just consider it a way to honor your loved one" is what the funeral industry wants you to think so you'll spend more money. Elaine was buried, I went nice but modest on the funeral. No viewing, a nice but moderately priced casket, service at the church, not at the cemetery, and it came to almost $10,000. And now, since there's a delay in the life insurance, the funeral home is hounding me to pay up. I think that they prey on our vulnerabilities, and the fact that if there is life insurance we're not too worried about the money. I'm really wondering what happens when people have no life insurance and limited income? They have to do something with the body, and even cremation can be pretty expensive.
mahagen, I understand what you mean by not sure what you paid for. I went to a cemetery to look into arrangements for my mother in law, who is still alive. She is old and in poor health, so it seemed best to arrange it ahead of time. My head was spinning by the time I left, I couldn't make heads or tails of it. It would have been much worse if I was actually in mourning at the time!
Wow, Keith wanted to be cremated, because he refused to be put under ground. He had a vision of deer dancing on his grave saying na na na na na. LOL We did have a wake at the funeral home for 6 hours. The total cost was $2800.00, which I thought was kind of crazy, because we made up the memorial cards on our own and furnished our own guest book. We even brought in our own food. The next day we had a celebration of life at a local bar that didnt cost me a dime. Everybody brought food and the DJ offered his services for free. The bartenders wanted to donate their tips to me but I refused. They worked their butts off that day, serving over 400 people. It was just the way Keith wanted.
Suz, My husband also was cremated. The urns that were on display for purchase at the two funeral homes I visited were very expensive. Being in a stupor and not wanting to go anywhere else but home, I chose one of moderate price that my children and I thought most looked like something my dearly departed and their dad would have liked. Months later as I attempted to shop for Christmas, I saw lots of nice wooden boxes for men to use for knick-knacks, jewelry, keys, etc. Many were $25 - $50 dollars and several were lined with velvet or felt. When I went into another gift shop for home decor items, I saw many, many glass and metal type decorative bowls/containers of various shapes that had tight fitting lids. Any of these boxes or home decor items could be used as an urn. When the word "urn" is used, the price is higher! Perhaps you can look for something that is not a traditional urn, but can hold the remains of your beloved husband appropriately. My prayers are with you as you prepare for this second service. I am not sure if I could have done that.
My husbands remains are in his toolbox. Am sure most people would think this was appalling but for me and my children it was the most appropriate place for him and I know he would say the same. None of those urns at the funeral home had ANY meaning to myself or my husband but that toolbox went everywhere with him and he built many things for many people with it and I helped him. When I go, I will be joining him in the toolbox. Yes Suz I agree death is big business and the funeral homes prey on peoples vulnerability at that time. Wonder what people would have thought if I had really followed his wishes and put his ashes into empty shell cases and shot him off, lol.
I love this! I wish I had thought of that!!! Maybe I will move my husband's ashes down to the garage with his tools!
my hubby is in a Jim Bean Whiskey bottle (lined with candle wax as I didn't want to see the ashes). The boys got a mini bottle for them as well.
If you knew my hubby it suits him and he would love it. He wasn't an alcoholic but did love his bourbon.
Funeral costs - unbelievable - mine was $7k and that again was a basic funeral - he got cremated and we had the service at a the funeral home and we catered for it. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I actually received a cheque in the mail from our Insurance Commission. I didn't realise that due to a traffic accident here our 3rd party registration we pay on our cars paid the funeral expenses up to $10k. So it even though the whole think sucked and still sucks....it was a bonus that I didn't end up paying the money. We pay enough taxes/licences/insurances etc. so was a nice gesture.
I was astounded how much I had to pay at my church! Plus we had to pay for all the refreshments at the reception...a small fortune. Plus the minister, the organist, the soloist, the AV person and the dumb candles!
Yes!!! I was shocked at the cost. The gravesite and the funeral home cost me about $13,000. That's not mentioning the few hundreds of dollars that I paid the organist, etc. at the church.
North, my husband wanted the same thing, to be put into shells and be shot off on opening day for deer season. LOL