Do you receive mail, phone calls, etc for your late partner? How long does this last?

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Permalink Reply by A Widowed Father on April 20, 2011 at 4:33pm

Yes, the mail still comes, mainly because I haven't notified the people sending it that they shouldn't.  I will one day, if for no other reason than to save the paper.  Some of the things it's so much effort to stop, like civil service canvas letters, I can't just make a phone call, I need to write a letter officially requesting, and I think even provide proof of passing, so even a year and a half later it just hasn't been worth the effort.

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Permalink Reply by Dawn- Clouds Mum on April 20, 2011 at 4:48pm

Hi Peg

I sure do get letters for Keith, it's only been 4 months though, so I should expect it. The best ones I received for him were during the last election campaign - we just had a State election here - I received three letters. I telephoned the local members office when I received the first one explained that they were sending mail to a deceased person and requested that Keith's name be taken off the mailing list. I was assured by a nice young lady that this would happen.

Just a week later there was another one in the mail box. I rang again spoke to the same person, she assured me that it would not happen again. She would do it immediatly. Three days before voting I found the third letter, this time I rang and spoke to the same girl again. I told her that she was wasting taxpayers money sending letters to people who were no longer able to open them and that they were a waste from the beginning as he would not have voted for the candidate when he was alive anyway. She got quite upset with me after I told her that.

I informed the electoral office the week the Death Certificate arrived and they also are informed by Births, Deaths and Marriages Department so Keith's name was not even on the current electoral role. Their copy must have been at least 12 months out of date for them to be sending mail to Keith. lol ... typical politician's office ... don't listen and waste our money. Bet this happens in America too

 

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Permalink Reply by Carole Brody Fleet on April 20, 2011 at 5:08pm

Carole Brody Fleet from Widows Wear Stilettos here.  After I became widowed, I was still besieged with mail for Mike; even though I'd notified the post office and the magazines to which he subscribed.  I'd finally had enough and started marking absolutely EVERYTHING (including the junk) with "Deceased - Return to Sender".  It costs the Post Office money to make those returns and it costs the companies sending out the mail.  It all came to a stop about a month later.

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Permalink Reply by A Widowed Father on April 20, 2011 at 8:42pm

I might try this, but by doing this does the post office stop delivering all mail addressed to that name?  The problem here is that my wife's maiden name and her mother's are the same except for the middle name, so I have to be careful to make sure that mail to that name doesn't stop entirely.

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Permalink Reply by Momtofour on April 20, 2011 at 8:44pm

thats a good idea.  I didnt have to go to that extreme though because Barry never got much mail anyway.

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Permalink Reply by Momtofour on April 20, 2011 at 8:23pm

I'm not sure...I got them for awhile, and his mail too, but thats basically stopped.  I am glad it did because sometimes I had to say  he couldnt come to the phone because he was dead...it did crack me up to see everyone on the phone get so flustered though haha.

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Permalink Reply by pegster999 on June 6, 2011 at 3:12pm

The latest gem...The hospital sent an invitation to Mike for a picnic for cancer survivors.  Sorry to inform you, he won't make it...sigh...

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Permalink Reply by Dawn- Clouds Mum on June 6, 2011 at 6:13pm

Oh Peg, surely they keep records in that place. Mind you if it is anything like the local hospital each department keeps their own records and no two seem to communicate. I do feel that this is a little insensitive though as sending it to everyone on the list is going to cause more pain to those who's spouse is not a survivor.

(((hugs))) Dawn

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Permalink Reply by Beth (oakhoopscoach) on June 6, 2011 at 7:38pm

About 15 months after my husband died I had a message on the answering machine from his GI docs office staff reminding him it was time to schedule his annual colonoscopy and stating that there could be "serious" health consequences if he didn't follow up!  I'm not sure how much more serious than already being dead could get!  I spoke to his doctor about it; he is a close friend and he was so upset; he was sure he had deleted his name from the computer.  Never happened again from that office.  It will be 3 years next week tho and I still get mail and phone calls for him. Depending on what mood I am in I either hang up, tell them he's dead or put my son on who has the same first name;  that is usually if I can tell it's someone looking for a donation to something, it's fun to hear them get all flustered when they realize they have a child on the line instead of an adult.   Bothered me  A LOT in the first year or so; now not so much; I guess time does change some things.

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Permalink Reply by Robinak on June 9, 2011 at 4:02pm

I just got one today.  Yep.  Yesterday, I got a letter that said, "To the estate of..."  That one really pissed me off.  Estate?  Estate?...what my shoes????

 

But I always call.  I always open.  I always reply because you end up with a huge mess sometimes if you dont.  It's going on three years now.

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