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The ones where I know something is wrong, or even that my beloved Skip is dead are bad. In the first few days after his death, I had one whopper of a night where I dreamed that I was frantically taking his pulse over and over (he died of a heart attack) and then dreamed that we'd thought he was dead but he was actually OK and alive. Ouch. The dreams that are hardest for me are the pleasant ones, really, where we're having an adventure together or just burbling happily along...and then I have to wake up and remember he's dead all over again.

Also, I've heard using the actual words dead/died/etc as opposed to euphemisms is supposed to, idk, help your brain accept what has happened, but wow it is hard tonight.

What about you? How do you deal with dreams, the good and the bad? Anything that's helped ease the transition back to being awake?

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My dreams are all good, the problem is when I wake up and realize they were just dreams not reality.

However, I look forward to them even 4 years later and hopefully they never stop.

I've only had one meaningful dream visit with Stephen since he transitioned August of last year.

In my dream, he came and said "I can only stay one day."  No recall what we did, but then he said "It's time for me to go."  I was distressed that he had to leave.  In my dream, he leaned in and gave me a big hug.  I immediately woke up, was NOT distressed, and actually could feel on my body where he hugged me.

This is interpretive, but I know it was a dream visit.  Not just a dream of him, but a dream where we interacted with each other.

Waking from dreams no longer prompts me to say "I'm alone" or "he's gone."  But then, my view on the afterlife, along with many indisputable signs I've received, shifted my awareness away from grief.

Melissa, I'm sure the dreams of Skip are distressful when you wake, but oh how blessed you are to have them and remember them!  Skip is reaching out to tell you he's okay and still right here. 

Hugs, Shirley

I've had one good dream where Michael came back and we had the BEST day. It was amazing. I keep dreaming that he's alive but left me (out of the blue- we weren't having problems). It's awful. I wake up and think, at least he didn't choose to die. I would give anything to have more good dreams where he talks to me and we are happy again.

I was always having those dreams too, where my husband had left me, and I kept wondering why was I having those awful dreams.  I think it was just this drumbeat of he's gone-he's gone-he's gone running through my mind all the time, and trying to make sense of it in my dreams.

Yes, exactly that. I had one a few nights ago where Skip was running ahead of me, and I kept shouting for him to stop, to wait up, but he didn't. Yes, brain, I get it- he's gone ahead of me.


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