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Today I blindsided by something I hadn't thought about too much, what to do with my engagement and wedding rings now that my husband is gone and when do I stop wearing them.  Today I had to take them of to get them cleaned and inspected (I lost Ray February 2014).  I started to panic when the jeweler suggested I keep them off and them them resized.  I was panicking just the 5 minutes they were off. Then my boss mentioned that she thought widows were suppose to wear their engagement ring/wedding ring on their right hand now.  has anyone heard this? It threw me off guard.  Also made me sad and panicked; when i put these on it was forever.  I haven't even been able to stop wearing his wedding ring on a chain daily, how do I deal with this?  Anyone have any ideas/experience in this?

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You do whatever you feel comfortable with, wear it forever if you so chose! Everyone has their own feelings on this but don't allow anyone to tell you what you "should" do. I didn't have much problem because of my metal allergy. I wore it only when we went out because I had to have them cut off one time when my finger swelled.(it's actually the alloy) so jewelry I wear is only for a short duration. However, I think for the most part, I would put it on whenever I did business with strangers, such as hiring someone to do work around the house. I would put it on at times when I was feeling insecure. Some people continue wearing them for whatever reason--it is a personal decision. Eventually, I did place my diamond in my safety deposit box along with other important papers, etc. I think it is wise to not draw attention to the fact we are widowed or alone. I even had my son leave the message on my voicemail.

One woman, I read, had her diamond reset into a cocktail ring. That was her preference. If you are in a social situation where you feel there may be opportunity to meet someone, then place it on the right hand or leave it home. But who cares what anyone thinks? I certainly don't. If I feel like wearing mine even now, I will do it. I didn't divorice so I don't feel at all wrong. Today, things have become laxed in so many areas. People that say these things, in my opinion, should keep their opinions to themselves.
I just received my beautiful black diamond eternity band today. My husband died December 30, 2014. I will wear it in his memory for as long as I feel it is right.

There are other threads on this issue, but I don't think there are any right or wrong answers on what to do with rings.    One friend I made at Camp Widow put both her and her husband's wedding bands on a necklace and it looked nice.     Unfortunately, I just lost my wedding band when I was on a bike ride last weekend.   I guess the sweat lubricated my finger and it fell off.    I noticed I kept trying to touch the ring this week and I had to tell myself that it was no longer there.  I thought if I remarried, I would wear both rings.      My wife's wedding/engagement rings are in a safe deposit box.   

My wife had a beautiful engagement ring from her first husband that she does not wear. We took it and a bracelet my late wife bought me and had a jeweler make a beautiful pendant out of it

There is a picture of it in my profile

I have only had a wedding band,  plain. Shortly after Frank passed, I knew I wanted a ring to go with it - a simple solitaire of his birthstone, aquamarine, in 10K yellow gold to go with the wedding ring. I finally found one and I love how they look together. I can't imagine ever taking off my wedding ring. I still feel married (9 months out).

I have a question from a Widower's perspective.  Sandy had a huge jewelry collection.  I personally picked out and purchased most of it.  I gave away all the costume jewelry and all the hand-made sliver Indian jewelry from New Mexico.  I gave her sisters some of the nicer pieces of fine jewelry.  Now I'm down to a few pieces that are so sentimental, I don't know what to do with them.  Those are her very simple diamond wedding ring ( by far her most favorite piece of jewelry she owned).  Also, her solid gold hand made dangly anniversary ear rings, an emerald cut diamond solitaire ring and a collection of stuff made of her favorite gem stone...  the emerald.

I don't wear jewelry at all, so I cannot use it.  But what should be done with it?  I also don't have a daughter, only a narcissistic son who ain't talking to me since his mom's funeral.  Got some creative ideas, ladies?  The wedding ring I know I couldn't bear to let someone else wear just because it would drive me nuts if it got lost. The other stuff, I'm not sure.

Wow. Sounds like some nice pieces. I am not a jewelry person either as I have allergic reactions to even 14K gold. My suggestion is this. I would hold onto it for now, at least until you are sure what you want to do with it. You could always sell it and turn it into some sort of charitable memorial type of thing in her name. ( a bench with plaque in park, maybe some trees or look into something on that order in a hospital or church.) Since it takes up little room, there's no rush. You may decide at some point to have the gems reset for someone- do you have any grandchildren, nieces or nephews? Hold onto the wedding ring or anything of great sentimental meaning. My engagement ring is in my safety deposit box. Whenever I have reason to go ( its's in a bank vault) I take it out and look at it even though it makes me cry. I will never let go of it! I had to have my rings cut off once when my finger swelled and they were resized and I wore them only when we went out, otherwise, they were not worn much! Just take your time so there are no regrets later on.

Thank you for your kind response.  The more I think about it, the only piece that's absolutely crazy sentimental is that very simple hand made wedding ring.  She loved the uniqueness of the design.  She loved the simplicity.  And she had tiny long beautiful hands and fingers (I'm not just making this stuff up as she got compliments on her dainty hands throughout her life) and the little ring rather went with them.  And I think it was the only piece that SHE was insanely sentimental over.  I'm going to try to upload a picture of it to show you.

Her ring...


I have remarried, and the discussion came up about what to do with her engagement ring. We found a design for a pendant in Kauai, and took it to our jeweler. She contributed her engagement ring, and I contributed a bracelet my late wife gave me.  This is the result:


These pieces are beautiful, PolarBear and Talisker. 

I was widowed 7 1/2 months ago, and I had my engagement ring resized for my right hand (it's slightly bigger than my left thanks to 26 years of heavy-duty flute playing). My wedding band matches it, but I no longer wear it. My husband's wedding ring is yellow gold; my set is white gold. I wore his ring on a necklace for four months but took it off after our anniversary in August. I haven't yet decided what to do with those rings. I may make them into a new piece, or I may just keep them as a reminder of the vows we fulfilled. I've attached a photo from our wedding. We didn't get to have a second anniversary; this is from August 2013.

I am very sorry for your recent loss, how sad you had so little time to share as husband and wife. Your rings are absolutely beautiful--hey, no need to rush with a decision. Concentrate on the things that need to be done right now. In time, you will know! There is no right or wrong when it comes to actually wearing them-- some keep them on, others remove them right afterwards.


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