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My LH died June 2, and his birthday was July 2, so it's all a big mess for me.
I'll always remember one wonderfully sensitive touch: right after Gavin died was Father's Day. Shortie was in the childcare at church and they were making Father's Day cards. Without a pause, the teachers helped her make a card for me. She was fine throughout (course, we were pretty dazed). I'll never forget how nice this was of them that day, which I'd been dreading, but hadn't thought of Sunday School being a problem.
June was always a busy month for my family.
In addition to Father's day we had three birthdays: my brother (1st), my dad (17th) and myself (22nd) as well as four wedding anniversaries my brother(3rd), my grandparents (12th), my parents (14th) and my sister (26th).
My grandparents and parents are gone now as are my brother and sister. Both my brother and sister passed away 9 years ago as the ages of 53 and 51 respectively....just 6 months apart.
This year will be my first birthday in 38 years without my husband. June is going to be a very long month!
I had my first birthday without Keith in April after 27 years. It was a hard day for me, but my friends put on a little party at our volunteer group meeting and it just made the day just a little happier.
I hope your trip to Mexico is a relaxing time for you and your family. It is always hard taking a break from your normal routine without your spouse, but being away from home may help to make it more relaxing that it would be if you had stayed there. I hope the boys enjoy their break away too.
Thank you Dawn!
As much as I am looking forward to our trip and getting away from all this here at home, I wonder what it will be like to arrive at the airport over there without him for the first time. This is a place where we ALWAYS went together, sometimes even just the two of us, without the kids.
I have travelled to other places without him many times, but Mexico was always a family or couple thing.
My birthday ended up being okay, not as bad as i anticipated.
I am glad yours was good, too.
What would we do without good friends?
I would be completely lost, all my family is far away.
Without my 2 boys I probably wouldnt be able to make it through this time at all.
His birthday - the 20th
His death - the 17th
Our anniversary is July 7th.
I a sloooooowly getting to the place where I use this to spur celebrating his impact rather than all about the loss of him, but it is slow going. Eyes on the prize, and letting the undertow grab me when it does without believing that it defines us.
Amen!!! It is a giant step to take to celebrate his impact, but one well worth the climb!
well said, A&M
Yep June is going to suck too! Since Mark died Febuary 2011 this will be our 1st June without him.
Of course there is Father's day but there is also our youngest son's birthday on June 3rd, Mark's birthday on June 5th, and the end of school. Mark traditionally would take the week after the boys got out of school off since there was a gap between the end of school and the beggining of Summer day camp. During that week he would take our boys and three of their best friends and do 'guy' stuff with them. We called it Daddy Day Care week and all the boys had so much fun! Mark was such a kid at heart he really knew how to have fun with a pack of boys. Somtimes I though he was living the childhood he never had because he had a handicapped brother and a very over-protective mother. He would constantly say - "I want to make sure these boys get to do all the crazy boy stuff I never got to do."
This June 20 will be the first 'sadisversary' of Henry's passing and this early it is like memories are flooding in. I could not cry anymore. I feel numb. I do not know. I miss him terribly and still talk to him especially during my down times.
I want to be alone.............alone to cry as much as I want to...... tried to be strong and hide my pain from everyone..... I want to just cry.
Sending you (((hugs))) and wish I could be there to give them to you in person. You sound like you need a shoulder and a big hug.
I know about wanting to be alone to cry. Don't hide your pain though, it's part of you and others need to know that you are feeling it. Cry when you need to....
((((more hugs)))) Dawn
Thank you, Dawn. Just by being here and being able to express my thoughts in writing is great. But it is true, I feel numb. sometimes I do not know what I feel because it would seem like I am normal but deep inside me I yearn for him. I do have interrupted sleep. I am afraid that as time goes by the memories fade away too.
I really appreciate the hugs and concern you sent.
I am sorry your sadisversary is approaching. I am only 10 weeks into this journey and hate every minute of it. But, I did allow myself to just stop everything and cry. I told all my well-meaning friends that I am tired. My mom helped me take care of my 16 month old that day and I grieved hard. I have felt so much "better" since. Please cry. Listen to your body. Grieve. It is healing in some way.
Also, I have been reading a few widow books and they say the coming days before the date are usually worse than the actual date. I wouldn't know but just wanted to share that with you too.
Sending you many hugs and prayers!