A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I finally got insurance and I am seriously looking into finding a good grief counselor. I really would like someone who specializes with grief. I'm going to keep this super simple and just ask if anyone knows of a good way to find a good counselor?
Apologizes if this has been brought up before. I did a search but couldn't really find anything.
You may want to talk to your family doctor for recommendations. I found therapy for my son first. He was only 6 when my husband died, and he refused to talk with me about since I fell apart every time he did...it didn't help that I was pregnant when this happened. I have since started seeing someone in the same office once a week. It helps to talk through the craziness of it all. I have refused to go through the anger phase and my counselor is walking me through this whole process. I hope you find a great counselor!
Check with your local Hospice center. Also check with the local catholic churches. My daughter saw a grief counselor for a few months before joining one of their groups for children who lost a parent. It helped her a lot. I been going bereavement group thru one of our catholic churches. It meets monthly. It gets you thru all the firsts for the first year. It has helped me so much and I have made some new friends who just get it. One other place to check out is the local hospital, they may be able to give you some references. This is a difficult journey, but you are making the first steps to finding your way. (((hugs))))
I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and never used Hospice, but through friends/contacts that is where I ended up when I was looking for some individual counseling. It was amazing to me that they offered individual grief counseling and support groups to anyone - free of charge. I am not sure if it is the same for the all of the Hospice's, but this is our local non-profit Hospice and they have been very helpful. I have only used the individual counseling, but I did try a Griefshare group a few weeks ago - - I just don't think I was ready for group support, but they did seem well organized and might be another option. It's only been about 8 weeks so I think I may try a group at some point, but right now the individual counseling has been helpful.
I sent my daughter (18) to Hospice for individual and group counseling. They helped her so much. They would not let her start the group until they thought she was ready. It was a Godsend to her. She was the youngest one in the group, but they all seemed to take her under their wings. That was very comforting for me. I joined a local church. We meet once a month for 13 months. (I didn't think I could handle weekly meetings) The group I go to, helps us get through the 1st of everything. It has helped me so much. All I can say, bereavement groups help us navigate this journey. If you don't find one you are comfortable with, don't give up. Just keep looking. It will help you in the long run. It is a difficult journey, just take a day at a time, if you can't even look that far ahead, just go moment by moment. Be gentle on yourself. Don't be afraid to accept help. We need it right now.
Nikki, I also have used Hospice services for counseling (I'm in MI), they offer individual and group, no charge. And you did not have to use Hospice services, although we did, but a different Hospice center. The group has been a big support for me, I find it helps to know that others are going through the same issues as I. All ages come, and I see the same grief in all faces, age makes no difference. It is good to get feedback from others, to hear how they cope. I am currently searching for an individual counselor who is also a widow. Takes one to know one.
I agree about looking into Hospice, even if you didn't use them. I attended a free nine week group here and it was incredibly useful to me and I was very, very impressed - and I'm hard to impress as I AM a therapist! I haven't done individual counseling but if they have that and if it's anything like their groups, then I think it would probably be very very good. With that being said, you really do have find the right "fit" for you - every therapist is different and that sense of connection is vital - and it's different for everyone. Good luck and I hope you find just the right person for you. All the best, Lynne
hospice is a great suggestion. Also, check with local churches... I stumbled into a greif couselors office when I went to pay off my grave site sometime after Mike died.. I didn't know she was a counselor, thougth she was taking me to her office for the paperwork! LOL she was instrumental in saving my life at the time! I recommend it. They reafirm what we are going through is normal and it will get better. (((hugs)))
I live in RI I am looking for grief counselor but dont have a car. Does anyone know if they come out to you?
Desnamt, the only way to find out is to call the places that are closest to you! Please do call, and don't forget hospice. You might also be able to enlist volunteers or "carpool" with other members, if you find a group. And the only way to know if you get along is to go! Hope you find something good that works for you... in-person support is really helpful over time.
Wow! Thank you everyone for your replies and support!! I had forgotten about checking with hospice, and with that suggestion I realized that I could always contact the palliative care team that we used at the hospital when he passed. I'm sure they have some great resources. I also didn't think about checking with the social worker or even the rec therapist that always helped us SO much when we needed something. Even checking with his clinic would be a good place to go. I'm sure the hospital has something in place. I know they used to have a group support - one of my friends used it when her dad died. I just need to get out there and look. Make some phone calls. But for some reason I've really been putting it off. Perhaps it's because I've been doing fairly well with things, but I'm coming up on the year mark and so I have a feeling I'm going to need someone to talk to and help me work through things around the holiday season. He passed about week before my birthday and just 2 weeks before Christmas.
Thank you all, again, for the responses. Hope this thread has helped someone else out too! :)
Glad to see all the helpful responses you received, Nikki! When you call hospices, keep in mind they're not just referring you... MANY hospice organizations are mandated to support bereaved people in the community, regardless of whether they "used" that (or any) Hospice. Keep in mind too that groups hosted in churches MAY OR MAY NOT be religious... churches provide meeting space for all kinds of community groups.
My hospice person told me this, too: Go three times. Even if you don't feel like going back after one visit, soldier through it. It can be hard to be in a group of grieving people -- it is pressure, and social interaction -- and the stories may be painful -- but somehow we each find a way to BENEFIT from that if we keep going back. Being with people IN PERSON is different from online communities -- some pluses, some minuses -- but for me, it was lifesaving. Which is why I created this place!