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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Are there any others here ...

... who truly do not want to date?

... who do not feel a need to date?

... who believe they can be content alone?

There's a vibrant discussion going on over in the "For those who have dated" Forum that I have enjoyed reading. I am genuinely happy for those who have found new loves or new friendships and have found new joy in those relationships. I'm one who doesn't believe there is a set amount of time before you can feel ready to allow someone else into your life. If it happens soon, then it was meant to be and it is wonderful. It has absolutely no bearing on how much you loved the one you lost.  So this discussion I'm adding is not in anyway judgmental. It doesn't matter how long 'out' you are, how long you were married, whether you are young or old, have young kids or none ... it's a personal decision that is ours and ours alone to make.

HOWEVER, I'm wondering if I'm the only one here in Widville who just doesn't see myself ever dating and I'm ok with spending my remaining years alone.  Just wanted to offer a voice for those who might have a different point of view.

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I'm definitely in the become more independent group.   I had lunch with a widowed friend recently and we were talking about whether you could still be one with someone, and yet more independent.   I think you can, but you have to be on the same wavelength as the other person.  She said she has become more independent since her spouse has died as I have.

You have to remember, these women are in the Los Angeles area.    The place where the term "trophy wife" was coined.    Yes, I think these women on Match are looking to be a trophy wife.   No, thank you, at least from this man.

Well this discussion has gone around and around a few times. I started it way back in 2012 because I felt strongly that those of us who made the choice not to date needed a separate forum to share in. But right from the start, people have posted about not being ready YET to start dating and then eventually dating became a regular part of the discussion. I guess that's to be expected. And I was recently at fault for bringing a dating discussion in here.

We will soon be moving Widowed Village to a new hosting platform - WordPress - and the site will have an improved discussion thread area that will be much easier to follow. You'll be able to easily find the specific discussion that fits you.

In the meantime, here are a couple of active dating discussions you might have missed:

http://widowedvillage.org/group/borninthe60s/forum/topics/dating-ag...

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/what-are-the-fundamentals-of...

That's great, Dianne!

It is still a valuable topic regardless of the comments by those in the midst of finding their way in trying out new & different things. Who knows, they might learn being single is a better choice. Support will be needed just as it is when remarried. Occassionally, those who are remarried pop up in need of support & advice. It all works!
At 11 years out, I'm still not interested in dating for any reason. Serendipitously, my niece became my companion. Its perfect in that I maintain my freedom, she accompanies me on outings when I want it, I can use my time for my kids w/out having to make concessions & get to spend my money freely. Those are the most issues my life. Dating &/or remarriage are not the only options out there to fill needs & desires ...

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