Sorry that you are here! My fiancé was killed in a work accident 06/25/2012 at the age of 28 and our daughter was only 4mo old at the time. I just turned 28 and our daughter turned 1 on Valentine's day. This is so hard and so unfair. Please don't hesitate to message me if you need
Thanks Kiki8! It does seem so unfair. My 30th bday is coming up and I'm not looking forward to it without him. Our daughters are about the same age. Mine just turned 1 on March 1st.
My husband, Daryl passed away on April 5, 2013 from Multiple Myeloma cancer. He was diagnosed on January 31, 2012 and suffered for the whole time. His body fought all of the treatments that were given to him and he suffered in lots of pain from fractured bones. I had quit my job only a month before he was diagnosed to pursue a bookkeeping business at home. Little did I know that I would instead become a full time caregiver.
I'm still so numb and can hardly believe that he is gone. I feel like I have a big hole inside of me. :-(
OH Shelley I am so so sorry. It is so early in the process and you must be worn out from a year of caregiving (that didn't hit me until the 3rd year). Stay close to this group and let us know how you are doing. Big hugs to you.
Susan, I would be totally ready to resume my role as caregiver if it meant Daryl was with me again. And then I realize how selfish that would be because he would still be here suffering. I wouldn't want that. :-(
I remember feeling exactly the same way, Shelley. Those years were really hard but I was blessed to be able to care for him, to love him to the end. I could not possibly wish for him to still be suffering.
I know. I was so torn as, while he didn't suffer that much, he was such a strong and independent person that I knew that by being so dependent and bed-ridden, he was suffering. He had 3 massive brain tumors so he was never aware of how sick he was but sometimes would say, "When am I going to get better?"
My ex mother-in-law said her mother was told her father had about a year to live and lived 9. When she told me that I knew there was no way he was lasting 9 years, but it sounded like a horrific way to be for 9 years. For both of us. After he went I thought I'd do anything just to hear him say "I love you" every day as he did when he was here, but that seems so selfish, that would be willing to confine him to that life just to hear that. His brain tumors moved around so he had different pains that were really phantom pains and he once ran a 105 fever for 3 days that wasn't really a fever which is why we couldn't get it down. It was just the brain tumors sitting on his body temperature regulation. So we never knew when he had something really wrong or not. I don't think I would want that life to continue. He was an active man, full of life and happy all the time. Though he bore his illness with a lot of dignity and never complained, I couldn't wish that on him for longer than he had it.
Paula, I have Dianne to thank for giving me the web address for this site. We met through the MM Facebook support group.
I've already realized how important it is to surround myself with people that understand what it is like to lose a partner. I really hate hearing over and over again that Daryl is in a better place. I do believe in God and Heaven but somehow it gives me no comfort that Daryl is in a better place. Then I want to be there too. :-(
Kelly, when did you lose your husband?
I'm almost 56 and Daryl would have been 63 today. The last few days have been very rough for me anticipating today. We were married for 37 1/2 years.
We have one daughter (31) who is married. She was sensitive enough about the day to take me out for the afternoon and back to her place for supper. It helped to be around people today.