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So sorry you had to join this group but glad you found us.  It helped me so much even though my husband had passed away many years ago.  If I had only found it early on.  You have a lot on your plate.  I had my own two children, 8 & 13 & was the caregiver for my mentally ill/hypochondriac mother (my mother abandoned her when I was born).  The only words of advice I have are to take care of you.  Find a group where there are others who can share your pain, give you a hug & just listen, in addition to this group.

Hi Virginia Kay,
Like you I also lost my husband and I am now raising a granddaughter alone. My husband Mike died at work on October 10, 2012.I know there are times that she is the only reason I got up in the morning. I also feel overwhelmed and alone and mad sometimes that I have this responsibility that I did not ask to have. Don't get me wrong I love her dearly and she is my special ray of sunshine but also a lot of work and responsibility on top of my exhausting life. It makes me sad to know that she already had a disfunctional family and now there is no male role model for her. My husband was an amazing grandpa. I know she misses his a lot and it seems so unfair sometimes. It sounds like yournlife is extremely full with your dad and grandkids depending on you. You must be an amazing woman to take on such a load. I hope things lighten up for you. Give yourself time for you. You are carrying a big load. Sending a big hug your way.
Ditto
Hello, my name is Anne Marie. I am only 22 years old but I lost the love of my life, Rob, just over 6 weeks ago, on July 6 2013. We were white water rafting at Ohiopyle state park with my family. Our raft flipped over. 5 of us made it out safely but Rob did not. Apparently he got caught on a rope that pulled him under, the water forced his life jacket off and he was missing for 3 days. 6weeks ago today we found him.

Rob and I started dating in 10th grade and were together ever since. We went off to college together and we both just graduated this past April. He was supposed to start law school this Thursday. It felt like we were finally adults, starting an adult life together. The past 7 years have been amazing, but I feel like there are so many things we never got the opportunity to do. We were very focused on working hard and always put school first to ensure we could have a wonderful life together. We weren't engaged yet because we didn't feel a need to rush, we are young, we thought we had the rest of forever together, but we were always fully committed to each other. I hate that all of our hard work didn't get to pay off. I feel like I was robbed of my future with him. I know I am young, but Rob is the one for me. He is my soulmate. I always felt so blessed to have found that person so early, but now I am unsure. Why would God take the most special person in my life from me so soon, before we even had the opportunity to start a life together or start a family? We always tried to do everything the right way, and it feels like rob and I will never get to reap the rewards.

7 years is a pretty long relationship for a 22 year old, but it wasn't enough, not it feels about the length of snapping my fingers. We were supposed to have a lifetime together, not 7 years. I hate that this is what my life has become, I am trying to move forward, but I hate that I have to.

I have a great support system, but I am happy to have found this community, I am grateful to be able to share with others who can relate. Thanks for reading this.

AnneMarie,

You brought me to tears.  You are my son's age who married while still in college to the love of his life.  People questioned me about how I felt about his marrying so young but I knew they were meant for each other.  He is gorgeous (a John Cusack twin) and had girls falling all over him.  They have know each other since they were two and she was the only girl for him.  Don't dare ever feel that your relationship was not exactly what it was.  You lost the love of your life and your seven years could be the equivalent of double or triple that.  So glad you found this site.  And, take advantage of all others who have walked in your shoes have experienced.  You will find support here.  You are precious and from the tiny picture I see of you, I am so afraid you will hear hurtful things like, "You're young, you're pretty, you'll find someone else."  I got that at 42 (and wanted to tell the woman--"You're old, you're ugly, I don't want someone else".  So just let those things go and grieve and take care care of you.  Be prepared for some really dumb things to be said to you but never doubt that you loved and were loved.  Please keep communications open.    

Dear Anne Marie,

I am sorry this situation happened to you. This type of accident really never has a proper way of saying why it happened.  These types of situations never seem fair.  I lost several of my friends when I was around your age, and I think about them today.  

Also, I almost was washed down a river with wife's friends.  I was not being careless when I was thrown in to the river by a judgement mishap.  The memories of that is still is scary today.  Thank G*d we all got out alive.  I want you to know I will be praying for you.  Please do not give up, and remember Rob will always be watching over you.

-David

Anne Marie,

I'm sorry for your loss. I am only 24 myself and lost my wife 2 years ago, so I know your pain. Anyone here, including myself would always be more than willing to help in any way we can.

AnnMarie, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for the terrible circumstances of your loss.

I had only seven years living with my husband before he passed, and yes, it feels like no time at all. I remember the day at the oncologist when we went in expecting to hear he was in remission and got bad news instead. He said to the doctor, "But we have plans!" We had plans for the rest of our life, and now it will never happen. He was my soulmate & it took most of our lives to get together, and now I doubt if I'll live long enough to find another person anything like him. (I have a chronic illness. If I'm lucky, I've got another 15 years. If I'm not, I've got 5.)

It's not fair, not even a little fair. When I was a kid, my mom used to answer us with "Nothing's fair!" and I'd get so mad, but the older I get, the more I realize she is so right. (Hah! I should tell her that. At least she'd know at least one thing she tried to teach us actually sunk in.) Things happen--good, bad, indifferent. The universe has its own agenda, I guess, and being fair or rewarding us for "doing everything the right way" does not appear to be taken into consideration. The only thing I've figured out to do is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

HI nice to meet all of you, i lost my husband suddenly in the end of 2011, seems he was gone in a hour. those no goodbyes get to you. anyways wanted to say hello :) take care from the pacific nw

Not sure if this is the right place to thank every one that spoke back to me today. Was very surprised that anyone even noticed. thanks so much. just glad that maybe I can finally say how I feel with some one who may understand. thank you all

 

Hello,

My Name is Lynne, I am 42 years old living in the southeast. I have two kids ages 22 and 14. I lost my husband April 2011  from lung cancer. He was 49 years old.

{{{HUGS}}} Lynne! Glad you found us but soooo very sorry you have the need to!!

My husbands died of lung cancer as well; My 1st after 30 years of marriage and my 2nd after only 1 1/2. My 1st husband was 48 when he died and we have 2 grown kids and 5 grandkids (one we were given custody by the courts as an infant so we count her as our child).

I pray you find all the support, kindness and encouragement here that I have.

Welcome Lynne.  I am sorry for your loss but glad you found us.  I lost my husband suddenly to Central Cyanoisis in Nov. 2011.  Everone here is kind, caring, compassionate and understands.  It is nice to be able to talk with others who understand. 

Hugs.

Janet

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