This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

WELCOME to our community ... tell us about you!

Views: 76791

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I had difficulty getting through the actual Easter celebrations since this is the first holiday. We moved this up for my husband's benefit. He passed on 6 weeks ago. Not dealing well & feel anger that this happened to us at our age and with more hopes for a future. Now I see no future. I just go through the motions

Dear Listen,

It is good that you found us; bad that you had too. Your grief is very new and what you are feeling is totally normal and reasonable. I'm at 1.5 years since the passing of my young wife (she was 50). It still hurts and I still get down in the dumps about the future. Reach out to your friends and tell them what you need. Our culture doesn't know how to handle death well so you may need to be direct with them. If there is a mental fog, don't push it away. It is there to protect you. In time you will be able to see things more clearly but for now, just concentrate on putting one pant leg on at a time. 

You still have a future that you will have to walk through. It will be hard but you can do it. Know that we are here to listen to you and respond. Please take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. You are in my thoughts today. 

Hi, I’m Mary,

My husband Rick died 9 months ago after struggling with Early Onset Alzheimer’s for at least 5 years.  Rick’s father was diagnosed with EAOD in 1993, 3 years after we were married and the year that our son was born.  EAOD was Rick’s biggest fear and the possibility that he would develop it weighed heavily on my mind.  He told me repeatedly through the years that if he were to be diagnosed, he would end his life.  His doctors spent 3 of those 5 years attempting to rule out every other possible cause for the loss of his memory and cognition.  By the time, we faced the fact and he was diagnosed, taking his life wasn’t a concern.  He passed just 17 months after diagnosis. He was 58.  We were married for 25 ½ years. 

Grieving the loss of Rick started long before his actual death.  Watching him progress through this horrific disease was gut wrenching.   The illness, I believe plays a big part in how I’m getting through grief now.  I had time to make sure paperwork was in order, time to make some pretty important decisions, time to tell myself I was prepared. For the most part, I think of Rick as he was before he became ill.  Somehow, the worst of times during his illness are buried pretty deep but I've learned, on the days when I'm aching for him the most and I don't think I can go on, I can pull up some of the worst memories and be grateful that he's now health and free.  Had Rick died a sudden death, it would have destroyed me.

Hugs to you, WV.

Thank you!   

My name is Ann. 

My husband passed away on 08/08/2016.  Like so many before me (I'm assuming), I was numb for about 3-4 months......then I started to some around.  I live in the low desert of So. California.  I did attend a hospice run grief group for about 2 months, but there were so many personal issues, the group did not do me a lot of good after the initial shock.  Some of those issues have resolved themselves, thankfully.  However ---- the big however, new ones have begun to arise.

I have had to go back to work, which is good & bad.  I need the money.  I was not fully prepared for this loss, although I saw it coming & tried to prepare for it.

I'm starting to "come back to life" in a manner of speaking.  I'll have to figure out some of the new issues, as an older female used to being married. 

I'm grateful this group is here.

Hello, my husband, best friend and soul mate passed away March 2, 2017. He was diagnosed with cancer last August and it appeared everything had gone perfectly with his treatment (radiation and chemo) right up until the surgery that was supposed to give us a fresh start. Instead, they found disease that had not shown up on the scans and they sent us home. This was on January 5th so we had just over 2 months from that point. I honestly see January 5th as my worst day ever because that's when the rug of hope for a future here on earth was jerked out from under me. The progression from that point was swift and painful so I did feel relief for him on the day of his passing. I am so glad he is no longer suffering and as a person of faith, I know he is happy and whole and that I will see him again. But I am now immersed in grief. I'm not only grieving for the person I lost and all he meant to me, but also for the future we planned and for the person I was as part of "us". Nothing is the same and I am faced with figuring out what happens next. I am ok...not good...but ok some days, a basket case and totally bereft of hope others. I know it is early and that time will soften some of these emotions but for now, it is pretty much agony. I am happy to have found this group. I have learned that only those who have had the experience can really understand the degree to which everything in life changes with a spouses/partners death.


© 2017   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service