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I am so very sorry about your sister's diagnosis.  Alzheimer's is horrific.  Rick progressed so fast that he skipped through the worst parts of it and for that. I'm grateful that his journey is over. 

There's a site on FB that I belong to for caregivers and families of those with early onset ALZ but many are caregivers those in their 70s, 80 and even 90s. Some members of the group have alz themselves and share the journey through their eyes.  It's a private group, anything you post is only visible to other members of the group.  I highly recommend it. Alot of advise and support out there. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/220603604654873/

thank you kindly. She is now 55.

My name is Ann. 

My husband passed away on 08/08/2016.  Like so many before me (I'm assuming), I was numb for about 3-4 months......then I started to some around.  I live in the low desert of So. California.  I did attend a hospice run grief group for about 2 months, but there were so many personal issues, the group did not do me a lot of good after the initial shock.  Some of those issues have resolved themselves, thankfully.  However ---- the big however, new ones have begun to arise.

I have had to go back to work, which is good & bad.  I need the money.  I was not fully prepared for this loss, although I saw it coming & tried to prepare for it.

I'm starting to "come back to life" in a manner of speaking.  I'll have to figure out some of the new issues, as an older female used to being married. 

I'm grateful this group is here.

So sorry Ann,

It takes a while to get your life back on track and to heal your heart.  I do not think that you will ever be the same as previous. However you will be fine. It has been over 5 years for me (eight+ including the illness). So much has changed and I miss him dearly. I am doing different things now. For instance today I was learning excel at 61 years old.  I am working again and enjoying the work. Not like before when I had so much other responsibility. I hated the work then. I fill my time with anything new and creative.  

Hello, my husband, best friend and soul mate passed away March 2, 2017. He was diagnosed with cancer last August and it appeared everything had gone perfectly with his treatment (radiation and chemo) right up until the surgery that was supposed to give us a fresh start. Instead, they found disease that had not shown up on the scans and they sent us home. This was on January 5th so we had just over 2 months from that point. I honestly see January 5th as my worst day ever because that's when the rug of hope for a future here on earth was jerked out from under me. The progression from that point was swift and painful so I did feel relief for him on the day of his passing. I am so glad he is no longer suffering and as a person of faith, I know he is happy and whole and that I will see him again. But I am now immersed in grief. I'm not only grieving for the person I lost and all he meant to me, but also for the future we planned and for the person I was as part of "us". Nothing is the same and I am faced with figuring out what happens next. I am ok...not good...but ok some days, a basket case and totally bereft of hope others. I know it is early and that time will soften some of these emotions but for now, it is pretty much agony. I am happy to have found this group. I have learned that only those who have had the experience can really understand the degree to which everything in life changes with a spouses/partners death.

Averysmom, I am so sorry. It is all so new for you.  I want you to know that things do get better. I do not know what stage of life you are at because it may be harder if u have youngsters dependent on you for comfort and financial support. Definitely the "us" is now "you". That is so painful. I personally wished that I had an idea of how this felt before it happened to me. I must say that I am ashamed that I never fully understood the pain that people felt when their spouses died. Definitely it is the loss of your future as you had it figured out. In my case I was also afraid that I would be suddenly struck down by disease.I also saw no need to work hard or strive for more or do anything that I did not need to. All that is now in the past. I still miss him dearly. I have never danced with a man again or felt a hug or felt that anyone had my back. I have children who are attentive and supportive but it is not the same. however I have started to enjoy different things (my job for one) crafts, reading and generally I just observe life around me. People are everywhere scurrying around, oblivious of how one moment changes the world.

Hi Gaining Strength,

I am 60....will be 61 in October. Thank you for the encouragement. I know intellectually that time will soften the extreme grief a bit but right now from an emotional perspective I can not really imagine being happy again. Steve was my rock, my best friend, my .... well my everything. We had such a wonderful life together and the loss of all that still feel like more than I can bear some days. I keep holding on to my faith and the encouragment of people who have been there and survived. And I actually wrote a note this week to a friend who lost her husband last year basically saying how sorry I was that I didn't' get it...therefore I didn't do enough..express my sympathy to the degree the situation deserved. Hugs and strength..

There is nothing like walking in someone else's shoes.  It is extremely really hard to get it unless you have been there and done that. We  need to forgive some insensitive remarks that the ignorant make. (ignorant not in a derogatory term but as in lack of knowledge).  50% of our population will have this terrible experience. In some cases the same people will be widowed more than once. Added to that, all the people who lose children.  If we were to just take the total of those people,,  we realize how much pain folks live with. Yet we survive to live another day. You will make it because there is no alternative. Peace be with you.

Thanks to all who post here at WV.  I do still carry resentments towards my husband's family, and my own, for the awful things they said to me soon after he passed away.  But then I remember the sage words of our great good friend John P., who told me "resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."  He was also the one who told me after Morris died, "you can't do anything wrong right now."  God bless the few good friends I do have left.  Peace to all of us here today. 

Hi Guys I’ m new here and so happy to find you all, it has helped me understand what I’m feeling. I lost the love of my life 1 ½  years ago and sometimes it feels like yesterday, we never spent a day apart in 41 years working together and sailing around the world for 38 years starting businesses in the different countries she really, opened my eyes to see and was my inspiration in everything we achieved or did I feel proud to bear the pain cos I could not imagine leaving her to go through this, especially on a small island in a foreign country. I’m stuck here, as once again she helped me build a great business that is my link to life without which I would surely become a hermit. She gave me two wonderful children one of which ,our daughter we lost to cancer at 32 years old in the US so it’s just us boys now We work together in our boatyard and my son comes past home nearly every day to make sure I’m eating as Asian food sucks and cooking for 1 is a drag even if you have an appetite. So now I live day by day the way I think would make her proud and let my sorrow remind me of how much I love her still 

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Hi Barry,

It is good that you found us. Your words touched me deeply today. Thank you.

Hi Barry,

Welcome and I am happy your found this site. Your girls were beautiful. I am new too having only been here a couple of weeks. I lost my husband two months ago...will be 9 weeks Thursday. Seeing that others who have been there understand what you are feeling has been such a comfort as has being able to express grief in a safe place. I hope you find it helpful.

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