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Betwwenthewaves, I am so sorry for your loss, and he was so young. My husband was 66, but really we thought we had another 10 or 20 years .  We have three children, and grandchildren. That does help some, but it does not fill the emptiness.  I get so sad on, on my phone, I have to scroll further and further back to find photos of him .  It just makes me realize how time moves on.

Hi I'm new, my name is Cathy & I lost my husband this past August 12th I'm 53 & we were married for 28 years, he was my best friend., I'm looking for others for support and to talk to who understand what I'm going through. The holidays have been very difficult so far for me. I already went through our anniversary which was Sept 3, his birthday Nov 7 & of course Thanksgiving. I did pretty well though all those but been having a hard time this month with with all the Christmas songs, decorations & memories I'm dealing with.  I look forward to talking to everyone.

Hi Cathy. My name is Laura, I'm 54 and my husband also died Aug 12th, but in 2016. We were together 32 years.

I had to move far away to start a new life in a completely unfamiliar place where I only knew one person. I couldn't take staying where I experienced constant reminders of his painful last year. Now that I am starting over in a place where we had never been, I am more in control of the memories I choose to look back on. 

I had been doing pretty well for the last few months, but this week it hit me hard again! I guess it will probably always be like this: we go for longer and longer periods between waves of grief. Just when we begin to feel almost normal, WHAM! We collapse in a flood of tears. 

Widowed village is a good resource of good people who all have experienced this incredible emotional pain. Good luck to you. Feel free to reach out.

Hello! My name is Debra and I live in California. I've been a widow for eight years. I am an educational therapist and a life coach. I work with children who struggle in school to help them to understand their learning challenges and come up with strategies to work around them. I have a 23-year-old son.

I am hoping to connect with other people who have lost spouses and build community. Most of my friends are married, and although they are quite sympathetic, I feel that they do not understand my life as a widow.

My husband, Robin, had brain cancer and had what I would describe as a "good death" in 2008. He was my soul mate and my best friend. My son was 15 when he died. I've spent a majority of the past eight years since his death caring for others: my son, my mother, my father-in-law, and the children and families in my educational therapy practice. My son is getting to a place where he doesn't need me as much, my mother died two years ago, and my father-in-law died last month. It feels like I can now turn to more of my own needs now that my care-taking has diminished.

My father-in-law's death has rekindled my grief over Robin's death. I grew close to my father-in-law after my husband died; the two of us were both surviving spouses and, together, we kept the memories of our small family alive. Robin was an only child, and I wanted to step into my husband's role as care-taker for his father. It was a gift of love and not of obligation to care for him. Dad's death, I realize, represents the true ending of my marriage and this brings me full circle to the loss of my husband.

I look forward to meeting you!

Hi Debra,

I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact that your father-in-law's death has brought your grief back to the surface.  I am a new widow - my husband passed 22 days ago.  I'm getting hit by the grief waves like crazy right now.  And now I'm dreaming about him dying, which is just awful.  

I wish you peace and comfort.  I wish that for us all here.  This sucks.  

Hi denverkim:

You are right. It sucks. I can honestly tell you that it does get better. There are moments of grief that will return, but they become moments. Your loss is so recent and raw. I am sorry that you are living through this acute phase of grief. It is all part of the process. May you find peace and comfort as well. I am grateful that in the midst of your great pain, you were able to reach out to me and offer comfort. You are amazing. Thank you so much!

Hi Debra,

I see you live in Pasadena.    If you want to meet some widowed people closer to you, our local meetup will be meeting on the 28th at 11:30 a.m. at the Raymond, 1250 S. Fair Oaks, Pasadena.  

Here is the link:  https://www.meetup.com/San-Gabriel-Valley-Widows-Widowers-Soaring-S...

See you then!

Hi I'm from Melbourne, got 2 beautiful girls (8 & 9) and we unfortunately lost there mum to cancer earlier this year. Been a very tough few years for us 3 as I'm sure many of you can understand. We thrived on each others company and spent majority of our time just with each other. I feel the need to reach out to people that I'm not familiar with so thought a forum like this would be perfect. It's been 11 months since my soul mate died and my motivation to enjoy life is slowly coming back. Would be so lost with out my 2 little angels. Cheers for accepting me and I'm looking forward to making new friends.

Allan84,

I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact we have to meet under these circumstances. I too lost the love of my life (my husband) this past 4th of July due to a car accident. Three days later, I gave birth to our one and only child (my daughter). I too live for my daughter and have no idea what I would do without her during this painful time. You will find a lot of support and comfort here. Good luck to you and please feel free to reach out whenever.

-Kimmy

Oh that's so sad. Kids are the best for taking your mind of thing and bringing happiness. Must be a crazy time for you lately. 

Hi 

I am new to this site. 

My husband of 43 years died on Sept 9 of advanced cancer. They found it late so he only lived for 47 days. 

I am crying every day and trying hard to cope..as we all are. 

It has been so hard because we spent so much time together. 

Hi Wendy and Allan84 - sorry you had to find this site, but glad you're here to join us.  My 49 year-old husband died 24 days ago after a 20-day battle with pancreatic cancer.  We didn't even get to start treatment before he became critical and passed.  We barely had a chance to process the diagnosis and what the treatments would be like.  After meeting others who have lost a husband or wife to an aggressive cancer like this, we were spared some grueling treatments, lots of pain and discomfort...all to arrive at the same awful outcome.  My heart goes out to everyone here. 

If you can, please join the chat on Christmas Day and New Year's, too.  It'll be a good way to support each other on days that are supposed to be fun and happy, but aren't. 

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