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Donna,

I am so sorry that you lost your husband such a short time ago.  I truly know how that feels.  I lost my wife very suddenly in January of last year and have struggled with that mightily since.  The in August of last my mother who is 97 started a period of declining health with came to a close this afternoon as I too lost her.  What was so amazing with Mom was that up until August she was the picture of perfect health.  Unfortunately after a short stay in the hospital during August the day she came back home she fell before she could get into the house and broke her hip.  Even though she had surgery on that hip 2 days later and if was repaired to perfection she never again had confidence in that hip.  From there she went through a period of one problem after another.  If you need to talk further about how you are feeling I truly believe I can help through it.

Larry

I'm so very very sorry your great has suffered another loss. 

Giant, gentle hugs! I'm so so sorry your heart is hurting so! 

Hello I am TCHA (Maggie) my husband of over 30 years died on 4th February after seven years of struggle. He was diagnosed with cancer, then overcame that but the list of illnesses goes on and on. He did of sepsis from a diabetic foot ulcer. So he had not been the man I married for quite a while because he was so upset by his illnesses. I am still feeling pretty numb and have no idea how I will manage without him on my life. 

I so understand what you are saying. I'm in exactly the same place. I'll introduce myself next. 

Kristyn

Oh Kristyn you have had more to deal with than anyone should ever be expected to.. (((Kristyn))). Where are you located? Such a huge amount of loss and grief for one person to bear. So glad your daughters are there for you. You say you get up go to work. What sort of work do you do? I have taken six weeks off work. Dont know how I am going to cope when I go back because I just burst into tears out of the blue constantly. Am going today to pick up my husbands ashes. Feeling very sad. 

My mother started it all back in 2010, when she started showing significant signs of Alzheimer's. In 2011 I moved her to my town so that I could be a caregiver to her. As her disease progressed, I needed to be there more and more. In August 2015 she died, and my family thought we could put things behind us. 

Wrong. Exactly two months later, her sister died. In May 2016, my lovely father-in-law got sick and two weeks later died in his sleep. Then in Sept. 2016 my husband's uncle died. My husband started having a lot of pain in his leg and began doctoring it. In March, my cousin died of cancer, and then my husband ended up in the hospital and diagnosed with his second cancer. He had beaten the first one 8 years ago. They were not related. While he was being diagnosed, another cousin died from cancer. 

From April to October, 2017 my husband spent 83 days in three different hospitals in two states. His cancer was responding to treatments, but his body had enough and on October 5, 2017 I lost him to cardiac arrest while they took him from his hospital room to a routine liver ultrasound. I am an orphan at 48 (the age my father was when he died 41 years ago and I was a young girl). I have no family, no real friends, but I do have four daughters (25, 22, 11, 9) who are helping me as they go through their own grief. 

I was a caregiver for so many years..... watched my mother wither and fade, and then my father-in-law, and then my husband. John was 54 when he died. We had been married for 26 years. I thought I was handling it..... but the reality of my loneliness is deafening. I'm going to therapy, but I feel like I'm just paying her to be my friend, so my blog is my outlet. And hopefully here. 

I just don't care about anything anymore. I get up, work, go home, sleep, and hit repeat. I try to do fun things, but I don't feel fun anymore. 

My soul's new north is this poem....

Sing me a song of a lass that is gone,

Say, could that lass be I?

Merry of soul, she sailed on a day

Over the sea to Skye

Billows and breeze, islands and seas

mountains of rain and sun

All that was good, All that was fair

All that was me is gone. 

Kristyn

I am so very sorry for you losses.  I can't even begin to imagine.  I have 2 girls (now ages 10 & 12) that I think were two of the few things that kept me going in the beginning.  I'm still quite "fresh" you might say, as it's only been 19.5 months since I lost my Chris to an accident in the mountains in June 2016.

I wanted to tell you that I love that poem -- and I recognize it.  It's the opening song for the Outlander series (which is wonderful, by the way, but the books are 100 times better).

Sending you hugs and know there are others out there to help you.  

I binge watched Outlander for the first time this weekend. Couldn't get up out of bed at all, so I watched about 30 episodes. I started to notice the lyrics to the intro were speaking to me, so I googled them and basically close my eyes when it starts because it is MY song now. 

Thanks for your message... and I'm so sorry that we had to meet this way :(

Kristyn

Kristyn,

I’m so very sorry.

You've said so much that I feel. 

Hello, I am a new member.  I lost my husband suddenly in September 2017 from a car accident.  We are only 40 and have no children.  I am lost and feel so alone.  I joined because I really only have my dog and my parents and I am having a hard time dealing with this practically all by myself.  My mom has been wonderful to talk to but she is already starting to question my thoughts and instead of listening just keeps telling me I am being irrational or basically giving "advice" I don't want.  Other than her I just have one friend and co-worker friends.  My one friend has a husband and kids so I hardly get to see or talk to her (which isn't abnormal).  But then when I do talk to her, I am never able to express my grief and it doesn't help that she was the first person to tell me "you're young, you will find someone else" less than a month after my love passed.  I called a family friend who was a widow and I had a wonderful conversation with her but I called her again and sent her a text and she never responded.  I can't believe how so many people's "good intentions" literally went to crap.  People don't realize their empty promises I took to heart and was counting on them.  I started seeing a therapist and it's wonderful but the hour goes by too fast I feel I need daily therapy.  There are no group therapy around and I feel so alone, lonely and depressed.  And don't get me started on my in-laws!!! Thanks for letting me blow off some steam.

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