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I am totally new here, in fact it is Friday and my husband died Tuesday.  I can't believe it has only been a few days.  Yet as someone said to me I have experienced a lifetime of grief and loss and emotions.  So I guess ...
Denise what you have written resonates with me so much.  So much of what you have said I feel already.  I find so much comfort (if that is possible at this point) in your words.  
The grief sure is life waves.  Right now from moment to moment. 

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss, and so recent.  I know for me, the first few days I was numb, in shock.  For now, moment to moment is the only way to take things.  My motto, stolen from Dory, has been "just keep swimming" since I lost my husband.  Don't hesitate to reach out to any of us, hugs to you... Peggy

I am so sorry, Firefly.  My husband died in February, I went in to work the next day, because I didn't know what else to do.  This is your time, take it and do what feels right for you. Hugs, Izzie

Keep your glow and find the happy when you can! The grief is still very raw in many ways and especially for you. I don't remember much. Hopefully you have friends and family to guide you along...or maybe you've been strong enough. Everyone grieves differently and if I can do anything to help, I promise to try. For anyone who needs it. 


I'm Diana. I'm 38 and I lost my bestfried/husband a little over a year and six months ago. It's been hard to live without him. I have two teenagers and I try to keep it together for them, but many times is hard. I joined this site just recently mostly because I wanted to get in touch with people who understand what I'm going through. I'm from Southern California. 

Hi Diana, I think all on this site know in their way of what you are going through.We all know how hard it is to keep on going when your heart has been ripped out.  I lost my Helen 10 months ago and have, over the past 3 weeks, been feeling pretty good, but today I saw something (I just can't remember what!!!) that plunged me into such a feeling of loss, longing and despair.  That whats seem's to happen these highs and lows.  It must be so difficult trying to get your head and heart around your loss whilst also dealing with your children's loss as well. I just hope you get some comfort from others on this site who know how you feel and can give you something to cling onto.


thank you Ray. The same happens to me, I will see something that reminds me of a moment or a chat that I had with my husband and suddenly am back to feeling sad and missing him like crazy. You are right also about the highs and lows. 

Hi Diana, 

I too lost my best friend /soulmate /husband about 15 months ago after being married for 30 years. I am now 51, and our  two daughters are in their mid-twenties. Even though they are no longer living at home, I am still keeping it together for them. We all miss him, and the void his passing has left in our lives is so very obvious. Yes it is hard, but just when we think can't deal with it anymore, we somehow find the strength to keep moving forward. We do so to honor his memory. Since you live in Southern California, I suggest that you attend the widow camp in San Diego. It will unite you with many other widows and widowers from all over the country as well as offer tools to help with the grieving process.. Information should be listed on this site. I think it is in July this year. You are not alone - I understand exactly what you are going through. 

And if you feel you can't afford it, remember there are camperships available.    It will pay for your camp fee, but hotel, transportation and food are your responsibility.     If you need a ride, i live near Downtown Los Angeles.   i would be happy to give anyone a ride to San Diego...

thank you for the offer Lupe's husband, right now I have my daughter's promotion and my son's birthday. I look into the camp

My name is Liesel. I'm new here and a new widow. It's been 3 days. I can't believe that. I'm still tying to get my head around it. It seems like it's been a lifetime since I was blindsided. I am 51, my husband was 53 and died of a heart attack. Sudden, unexpected, blindsided. I have a 9 year old son. I can't believe this. I can't hear my husbands name, I can't hear stories about him. All I can do is try and get my head around the fact that he is gone. And even then I can't let that hit me full force. Mostly I've been focusing on the fact it's just me now. Me and my son. I have a wonderful bunch of friends but I need to connect with some people that know just what I am going through. I need to know I can get through this, that there are people that are getting through it too. I know it is going to be a long, hard horrible road. I am trying to take my positive moments and thoughts and store them up because I know I have dark times ahead. I'm so scared.
Today I go to do the final viewing and then Mikes body will be cremated. How is this my life now.

Oh I'm so sorry for your loss Liesel, and so recent.  I know for me, the first few days I was numb, in shock.  Your friends are going to be a good support but until they experience this horrible thing it's not possible for them to understand.  If I can give you some advice, when they want to help, let them.  You're going to find the next little while that you're exhausted, trying to function while grieving is exhausting.  For now, moment to moment is the only way to take things.  My motto, stolen from Dory, has been "just keep swimming" since I lost my husband.  Don't hesitate to reach out to any of us, hugs to you... Peggy


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