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Hello, I am new here and widowed since early July this year. Reading through, I find I am going through what you all discuss and take comfort that there are others who understand as not many of my friends have gone through it. I find my feelings about moving forward are all over the place. Some days I feel strong, others I feel defeated. I just know I have no choice and that my amazing husband would want me to start to try and be happy. Nice to meet you all.

I mirror your thoughts for sure! Some days I feel like I "have this"  and then the next hour I wonder what to do with myself and am throwing a pity party of one. You are in this with all of us, a club we never asked for but one we can together make others feel loved, welcome and also invincible in times they question it. 

I like you know my husband would want me to be happy... or at least I know he would want me to find joy in small things, until they grow into the big ones. Thinking of you today!

I am having trouble getting into the chat room or asking for a Zoom link. Any help available?

The Zoom links were sent to you yesterday, Chrissa, from my [email protected] address. It might have landed in your junk/spam folder, so if you haven't seen it please look in there.

We no longer have a 24/7 live chat room, so I would encourage you to join the groups that fit you so you can interact with others ... Widowed in 2020, Born in ... based on your decade.  Here's a list of all of our current groups:  http://widowedvillage.org/page/groups-new

Hi, I'm Donna.  My husband Joe died quite unexpectedly March 15, 2020.  My heart is broken, I have no words for the pain I am going through.  My kids have been with me as much as they can be but of course they have their own lives to live.  Covid has made things even worse.  I cannot go anywhere or do anything even if I wanted to....I am so lonely

Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry for your loss. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, Donna. Covid has added an extra layer of pain on top of the grief you suffer. It has helped my lonliness to have Zoom calls with friends and to attend online live events, like lectures and interviews. Google a hobby or interest you have had plus online events and something should come up. 

Dear, dear Donna

We all understand and know what you are going through it, because we all have gone or are going through it also.  When WE say that we're "sorry for your loss,"  we mean it from our hearts because we REALLY know what it's like.  So call on us, talk to us, Cry to us.  It's OK, it really IS OK.And we'll listen to you and commiserate with you--, whatever it takes. Remember,  Been there -- Done that, we understand.

Hi everyone, I'm Rick.  I lost my wife, Christine, 18 Jul 20 due to a ruptured blood vessel in her brain.  She was two weeks away from her 53rd birthday and our 33rd anniversary.  We have three adult children and that's what has kept me together since then.  I'm doing all the "self care" stuff, grief counselor, diet and exercise for the most part.  Work, church, friends, have been incredibly supportive but it all just feels like going through the motions.  It helps to see stories of people who can relate because you just feel so alone even with everyone willing to do anything to help.  Chris was the positive one so that makes the struggle just that much harder when your partner is gone.  I don't doubt I'll make it through, I just don't see how.  One step, one day at a time. 

Dear Rick:

Your post went directly to my heart. During the months after the death of my beloved husband, I was completely lost, without hope and devastated. Nobody could understand the grief I was going through. It will be hard, but will get better. Do not hesitate to talk about your feelings. Cry, laugh, read books, and watch videos about the loss of a spouse. Here is a link for a Ted Talk that I liked:

https://www.ted.com/talks/jason_b_rosenthal_the_journey_through_los...

A big hug to you,

Ixia

Hi Rick.  My wife died the same way in January.  After 40 years together, and with no warning, it shocked me to the core.  You're right to focus on the self-care.  We can get through this.  It's hard though.  My adult kids have also been a help, but the reality is this is our row to hoe in our own time, and in our own way.  I've found getting out for walks and other physical activity to help.  Also, getting sleep issues under some control helped lift the horrible brain fog a bit faster.

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