HI, I am reading through these introduction and your name caught my attention....my husband passed due to lung cancer too and we meet in the Army and I always called him Richard, even though his last name was Richards. Yes I am processing dating and having a compatible companion too...I know my husband would have wanted me to not be ALONE or SAD. We talked about it briefly, I think that is what gives me comfort and courage to think about dating.
Your story sounds similar to mine. I lost my husband on 10/8/11 - he died from a ruptured brain aneurysm. We have an 8 year old son together and we found him unconscious at home. He died the next day in the hospital.
hi christin kinda the same stuff here and the same month , sorry for your loss
Dear Grey Eyes,
Welcome to our site. I am saddened to hear some of your story. You are so incredibly young to go through such pain and it isn't fair. It must have been very shocking to have this happen to suddenly. I hope you can find some help and healing here. I have been her for a couple of months and it has made the world of difference for me.
I look forward to getting to know you better.
I'm Joanna, aka Krusty. My husband died on October 10th 2009 after a week long stint in the CCU at our hospital. He went in with the flu we thought. Turned out he had double pneumonia. He got better, and then died from a plumonary embolism. If oudn after he died that he had H1N1. Embolisms are a side effect of H1N1. The news interviewed me at my home because he was the first case to die in our county. He was just 29. And...I didnt find out about the H1N1 until the reporter told me. I felt like I was sucker punched. No one told me. We have 4 kids together. At the time of his death, they were 3.5, 7, 8 and 8. Now the twins just turned 10 a month ago, the "baby" is going to be 5 on monday, and our middle child is 8.5. Sad thing is, he died the day of her birthday party...but I dont really want to get into that right now. So anyway, I'm almost 18 months out now, but my life has done a complete 360 as I am in a serious relationship and practically engaged. Its so surreal to be honest. Going from a happy life married to my best friend, to watching him die, spending a year alone as a single mom with 4 kids...and now living with the new love of my life...I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it.
Joanna~It's good to officially "meet" you. I didn't know your story, but feel like I know you better now :). And I'm with you on the surreal-ness of our lives!
I liked reading your story here. I love your enthusiasm and love for life, eventhough this was not the life you had planned in the beginning. I, too, lost my best friend and soul mate after 23 years of marriage. My husband I were both the same age (45) so I am older than you, but I still feel very young. We had so many plans for retirement and just spending more time together as the kids got more independent. (We have 4 kids ages 11-19.) Most people think that "kids" your age have every opportunity to get married again, and people in their 60's and 70's seem perfectly happy being alone because they were with their mates for so long, but people in my age group seem to be in limbo. I personally loved my husband so incredibly much which makes his passing so painful, but at the same time I can't see myself alone the rest of my life. I still want a loving relationship with someone, a "wing man", someone who adores me and I adore him. The problem is, I can't imagine dating again. I started dating my husband at 18, so I am WAY out of practice. I just couldn't imagine that whole part of my life starting again. How did you decide that dating was what you were going to do? How did you get over the guilt of feeling like even the thought of dating someone was cheating? It seems like you have a good self image which probably helps. I feel like I have a good self image, but I'm still fearful of what dating means. I have come to the point in my grieving where if I had the choice of one man for another 50 years, I'd beg for my husband in a second and I wouldn't look twice at another man, but since I don't have that choice anymore, I need to keep living. How long did it take you to feel like that? How did you do it?