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Kristen,

You have found the right group.  Everyone here knows exactly what you are going through.  I lost my wife, Sandra this January 20th.  While I am not fortunate as you to have personal friends and family support, I have found that those who have experienced this can assist greatly.  I found that friends and family that had not been through this could not understand the slow process that this puts us through and many fell by the wayside.  If you need to talk and say what is on your mind, I will always be available to listen.

Larry

Hi Kristen - I lost my husband June 23,2016 and I also have 2 small children, altho mine were 8 & 10 at the time.  I also have very supportive friends and family, but I know what you mean about chatting with those who actually know what it's like.  I have now passed the 1 year mark and I find I don't cry as often as I did, but it still hurts deeply.  I find things with the girls are so very, very hard.  Like when they get an award at school, or something like that.  It hurts that Dad's not there and I still have the impulse to text him about fun things that happen day to day.

Does anyone know of family grief camps .. 

Camp Kesem is an amazing sleep away camp for kids who have been affected by a parent's cancer. Not all kids have had a parent die, but it's been a great experience for my kids. There are chapters associated with larger universities, so you can find a program in many states. And it's funded by donations (i.e. there is no cost to the family).

Not family camp, but my daughters (9 & 11) are super excited to attend Camp Erin in a few weeks.  It's a camp for kids who have lost a parent, close friend, etc.  The camps are hosted around the nation and best part - it's free.  My girls lost their dad last summer and have not wanted to do any other kind of therapy, but jumped at the chance to go to this camp.  When I told them about it they said, "so all the kids are like us?"  Yes.  All the kids have lost a very close relative - many of them have lost a parent.

https://moyerfoundation.org/camps-programs/camp-erin/

Hi everyone, my name is Kimmy and I'm a very recent widow. I lost my wonderful husband of 8 years suddenly and unexpectedly this past July 4th 2017 due to a fatal car accident. He was 34 years old. Three days later, I gave birth to our first and only daughter. These past couple weeks have been very difficult coming to terms with the fact that I no longer have a future with the love of my life and being a new first time mom. I do have a wonderful support system between my family, my late husbands family and my friends but I am looking for advice and guidance from other widowers. I look forward to getting to know you all!

Kimmy , 

         I am so sorry for your loss. Just know there are really great compassion people here. Prayers to you and your daughter,

Terry  

Kimmy,

I can only imagine what you are going through with the loss of your husband and now being an only parent to your brand new daughter.  This past Thursday I reach 6 months since the loss of my wife after a brief illness.  You will find many people here that will be able to offer you support and information that will help you.  If I can assist in any way please feel free to write.

Larry

Kimmy,

Prayers to you and your daughter. I also lost my husband quite suddenly due to an accident almost 6 months ago, so I understand what it means to have it all one minute, and the breath knocked out of you the next. Do not be afraid to lean on those who surround and support you. Most importantly, take it one day at a time.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and you are so right about having it all one second and the next having the breath knocked out of you. That's literally what it feels like and since that moment you can't even breathe right anymore. I am hoping this will get easier with time and yes, definitely taking things one day at a time...and when that's even too hard, I take it one hour at a time.

Kimmy,
 
   My heart goes out to you. I am 32 and lost my 43 year old husband 8 1/2 months ago. We were married two years. I have a 9 year old son, who was his stepson. I am part of a group of Young Widowed people in Denver, CO, who meet once a month in a support group setting as well as socially. I know a few of them had newborns when they lost their spouses. The shock will help you get through the first months. I've learned it's actually a way our brains and bodies protect us from things we aren't quite ready to handle yet. I am so glad you have a strong support system.
   My advice, since you are asking: 1) Tell people what you need, and what you don't need. Set boundaries. If someone says "How can I help?" Don't be afriad to say, "The lawn needs mowed" or "I need groceries" or "I need help keeping up with this laundry" or "Could you give me a few hours' respite?" If people don't follow through, they probably never intended to help in the first place. Don't worry about those people. 2) Find a person or group of people you can share with, whether this is a therapist, a group like GriefShare, or a regional Soaring Spirits group. If you don't like the first person or group you go to, seek out another. This will be an important resource to have. 3) Keep coming back here. There is power in telling your story, comfort in finding out what you are going through is "normal", and camaraderie in the relationships you will build.

That is the best advice I have ever seen in this forum.  This should be pinned and stickied somewhere on the home page!

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