Yes, Sean, those days at the end of the day are sure difficult.
I quit working FT after I married my husband. After I gave birth to our son, I was lucky enough to work for my friend's firm and she let me worked PT from home with no fixed schedule. My years as a stay home wife, the highlight of my day was to welcome my sweetheart to come home from work. Either I was in the kitchen making dinner or I was all dressed up to wait for him to pick me up to go out for dinner. I gave him bear hugs when he walked into the door. I chase him into our bedroom and he threw me his dirty socks. We kissed. We hugged. Then we ate and talked about our days.
When my husband died from a sudden illness 2.5 years ago, every evening around 7pm hit me the hardest. My other living moment was difficult enough but waiting for nothing to come home to at 7pm was the worst. That yearning haunted me over a year. Now I am pretty much numb but every so often I comment to my toddler about how he and I used to wait for daddy to come home around dinner time.
It's hard, I am not going to lie. Especially if you and your spouse shared a loving relationship, the pain will linger. I met my husband young in college. Were madly in love for over 15 years. He was basically my lost twin for we thought alike with almost identical values about everything. After 2.5 years, I still cry and miss him terribly. I don't know if my days are "better" but I sure get used to my life without him. Numb is the word I describe my emotion.
I am so sorry about your loss, Sean.
Condolences on the loss of your Patty, Sean. We who have lost a mate have, IMHO, have lost a part of ourselves. May you have adequate support to navigate the changes and adjustments that lie ahead.
I joined this site a short while ago. It was suggested to me by a friend who had her husband pass over and needed help as she dealt with that and the life she now had to live. It is difficult for me to share much as I am a very private person. So I may not post much though I will read a lot.
My husband passed over on May 2nd of this year. We knew that his time here was limited. We knew his was going to be before mine. He had some genetic disorder (research has not yet found why so we had no name but knew it was not in his head) that caused his muscles to not be able to use but a portion of the 'energy' in his blood. Thus he continued to weaken. He pushed to live as fully as he could and though I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, which both come with other difficulties, we made do. Everyone has their challenges in life, these were ours. We made it through to the time he could not push through any longer.
As for me personally, I am a gamer. For those who may not know, a gamer is one who plays computer games such as Zelda, Fable, World of Warcraft, to name a few. I do not play those however. I love to write stories so became a role player in the game The Elder Scrolls Online. I have made some very close friends in the past couple years which have been a blessing during this time as they are there for me.
I have two dogs who are very sensitive, such that they could be service dogs but have not given them any training to be such. Moose is the most sensitive and gets upset when I cry. He loves me and does not want to see me upset. Bear mothers me. ;)
I have 6 children and 10 almost 11 grandchildren. They have given me alot of support also.
Since this is to be an introduction I will stop now. I will read more of the postings and add to different ones there.
Thank you for taking time to read this and may blessings come to those of us here.
I almost hate to say welcome, because this is not necessarily where one would choose to be. I am so sorry for your recent loss. It does sound as if you have an extensive support system. That is such a help. I find that the four-legged, furry variety are the most wonderful source of comfort. They listen, never give unsolicited advice, and snuggle up when you need hugs and kisses.
I hope you are able to use your gaming as a distraction. We all need that type of thing to help restore some type of normalcy to our lives.
I don't post a lot either and I tend to be private, so whatever you choose to share is for your healing.
I want to thank everyone that has said hello etc.
I am holding up pretty good. Right now relaxing after having the past two days at my daughter's because my grandson turned 5 today! We had lots of fun and I know this will help a lot.
One thing did happen that I was warned about by my wonderful friend that had her husband pass several years ago. About 5 days ago I was doing just fine emotionally when suddenly the grief hit me like a 2x4 out of the blue. I was crying and it felt like my husband passed just a few days before. It took a day to work through and I am better now. Many things that are told to new widows and widowers by those who have gone through it, can happen. Not everything but by listening to my sweet friend, I knew what was happening and able to work through it.
So thank you to all who are here that share and are here for the others.
Hi..I’m new to this forum.
My world stopped abruptly 13 months back. I’m 28 ....We were childhood lovers. We were in a relationship for 11 years already when he proposed me for marriage last year. It was something I waited all my life for. Everything seemed like a fantasy world. We got married. Yes indeed it was “ the fairytale wedding “ what people call it. And I believed I was the happiest and luckiest person on the planet to have the most loving and caring husband by my side.
Just two months later, one night my husband got a massive cardiac arrest and I lost him forever. He was just 29. It was the end of the fairytale. I wasn’t with him when it happened, infact nobody was and I didn’t get a chance to even take him to the hospital. “May be I could have saved him” this thought kills me every night.
My husband was my best friend, my mentor, my partner, my childhood love and my world to me. Since my childhood I’m used to talking to him..being with him and now he is gone forever. Just two months after the wedding I became a widow who lost everything.Dnt feel like living more.
Very sorry for your loss. I too married my childhood sweetheart - together since I was 14. I know what you mean about mentor and partner - because we were together every day for the last 30 years.
Please don't play the "if only" game because you will drive yourself crazy. My husband also died of cardiac arrest, and I was there, and I could not save him. I know if was a quick death, for which I am grateful.
Please take care of yourself during this time and find more support groups like this one - there is many on FB too. It helps to talk to people who "get it"
Hi May Name is Dan. I lost my wife of 27 years to peritoneal carcinoma. Diagnosed in August 2017 and passed in May of 2018. She was always the healthy one. Anyway, I'm glad I found this place since it has helped me during this process that I am so unprepared for.
Hi Avanti, I first met my husband when I was only 4 yrs old. He was my big brothers friend. He was 6 yrs older than I am. He went on to have a life but when I was 20 he moved home again and I became his Cinderella and he was my prince. We were together for 36 wonderful years. On Nov 9 2017 my world shattered. He was due to come home from the hospital that morning. Please know that the hurt will not always be so bad. The memories will not always break your heart. Thinking of him will start to bring a smile to replace some of the tears. Please don't give up . Reach out in any way you can. If I had not found this site I would be so lost. I joined and began talking in the chat room. There are people of all ages and backgrounds here. It didn't take long to feel like they were family. I care about each and everyone because they cared about my story. They shared themselves with me. All of us are on the same road and no one can understand it better then ones who are farther down the road. Please join our family and let us help you. Huge hugssss to you.
bayoured thank you for your kind thoughts. I just cried while reading those words . Living this miserable life is so hard.
On April 10th my husband died from lung cancer. He was diagnosed in late February and declined so rapidly. He had home hospice and I cared for him. We were together 32 years. I feel like my life is over and I want to be with him. I have never felt so alone, despairing, and miserable. He was my whole world. I can't go to bed at night and I wake up feeling lost, alone, and empty. I feel like I have nothing to live for without him. I had someone to love and someone to love me. Now I have nothing. I spent my whole life with him. I want to reach out to others to see if what I am feeling is normal. Will I ever feel happy and normal again? Is there hope for me? He Is all I ever wanted and now I have nothing. Some days I feel like I can't make it through the day. I pray I can find joy and happiness again. This is the most painful and horrible thing I have ever experienced? Can someone advise me? I want this to end but I know I have to move through this. How do I survive this misery?