BP I agree with Athena you have had a very difficult time on top of losing Joey. Athena glad you have some bright spots in your life,hope I can get there some time.
BP you really have had it very hard with the physical pain of your injuries and the pain of losing Joey. The words that come to mind to me is what our hospice nurse said to me the day Helen passed she said "Ray I have not known you very long but in seeing what you have been doing if there had been any way of saving Helen you would have found it", I thinks thats same for your Joey.
Widowed on 7/15/17. Just looking for some support. My husband was my soulmate. It took me 46 years to find my soulmate and we quickly realized we were perfect for each other and married around a year later. We had our wedding bands made out of aircraft grade titanium (my husband was a pilot) and Gibeon meteorite inlay. Then we got married in front of a giant T-Rex statue at Dinosaur World. That was a little over 3 years ago. He died from a heart attack during the night. I have no children, and not close with my family. My husband was my best friend in the entire world, and now he's gone. He was an amazing, compassionate, gentle soul. I went to see a therapist today for the first time in my entire life. I was totally disillusioned. She gave nothing but the usual cliches that you hear over and over: "You'll have lots of ups and downs," "Just take one day at a time," "things will get better in time." Right now, all I see is darkness and feel hopeless about the future.
I just read your story and am so sorry for your loss. Your story so resonates with me that I got up and I want to reply to you. There are many common areas in the story we both have to share. I think I can help you in many ways to understand what you are going through. As like you, my wife and I met later in life. We were in our early 40's when we met and we wound up leaving the marriages that we were in to be together. We were married exactly 2 years to the date and time of our first physical meeting. As I am sitting here writing this to you, it has just turned midnight, and today marks 200 days for me. My wife died quickly and suddenly on January 20th. Later this month would have been 20 years of wedded bliss for us. Another strong common area that we share is that I have little personal support to help me in this journey. The main support I have comes from a member of this group. That person and I made contact during the middle of February and there is rarely a day that passes that we don't make contact. If you will write back to me I really think I can help you understand much of the journey that you are about to undertake.
hello, my husband died may 10th 2017, I am searching for support.
My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer last year in the spring, had a massive surgery, went through 4 rounds of chemo, had complications and we were given a few months to recover, while he was told that the cancer was no longer there. He was to continue the chemo "just in case" once the complications were over. In the meantime the cancer spread to his liver and killed him before anybody could realize what was happening (the test results were negative for cancer markers and some other misleading complications).
While my husband was in the hospital for the last 10 days of his life my father was admitted to the hospital in my home country with severe lung problems, he suffered from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease for years. He died barely a month after my husband. I couldn't even go to his funeral.
I have a 15 year old daughter, we've been married 16 years, known each other 18 years. I changed my life completely to be with him, moving to the US from another country, with no family or friends here. Yes, now I do have a few friends, I have a job, life but... life without him doesn't make any sense. We had so many plans together, I miss him every minute of every day. He loved life, was such a happy person and never really believed he had cancer or that he might die of it.
I do not know who I am anymore, I loved to be his wife, his partner, companion, friend. I never thought possible to be so close to another human being as I was with him.
Hello Malgosia, my condolences. I had two hard deaths too - my dad and ten months later my wife of 25 years. It is good that you found us. Read what others say and write when you feel like it. You are early on in this process. Know that you will learn to live again but right now, concentrate on yourself and your daughter. The feelings you have right now are totally normal (though terribly difficult to go thru). Ask for help, forgive those who say insensitive things to you and be pleased with yourself for putting one shoe on at a time. I do know what you mean by "I do not know who I am anymore." I feel this way because who I was can no longer be. My wife and I met when we were very young and for 32 years, I was her man. Hang in there.
You have found others here who truly know what you're going through. I lost my husband of nearly 15 years (together for 20, so pretty much half my life) in a mountaineering accident in June of 2016, 10 days after his mother passed away from cancer. It was a very rough summer for us. I have 2 daughters, now aged 9 & 11. I wanted to tell you about a camp I found for my girls to attend, as your daughter may wish to attend next summer. It is located around the country and is for kids who have lost a parent, sibling, or someone very close to them. It's also free. My girls will be attending next weekend and are so excited about it. "You mean it's all kids like us?" A friend of mine heard about it and sent me the information. It took me a while to look into it more, but I'm glad I did. I'm hoping they get a lot out of it.