What does that mean Lost? I know the loss seems stifling right now. Fate has dealt us an awful hand for sure.
Do you have family or friends that you can trust and lean on? Sometimes it is not those that you would expect to be your support, but instead those that have been through it and understand. I wish I had more sage words of advice. Sometimes words seem vapid.
Please let us know what we can do for you.
Lost, your posting resonates with me. Today is 2 months since my husband passed away and I was just thinking (as I sat on the couch crying after a rough day at work) I don't know if I can do this the rest of my life. But, somehow, we have got to figure it out. I noticed you are also in the "born in the 60's" group so you are probably close to my age. I never imagined myself a widow (someone else had blogged how much they hate that word...I do too) at the age of 57 but here I am. This is not the life path we had planned but it is what we have. So, one day at a time, one minute at a time we will figure it out. If you don't have anyone to reach out to, continue to reach out to this group. There is a lot of understanding, wisdom and, dare I say it, hope on this forum.
Hello. I am new to this site and "widowhood" in general. My boyfriend of two years died at the beginning of September. We were both independent and skeptical of relationships at the start, but we just clicked after finding each other on Match.com. He was smart, sarcastic, talented, and my best friend. He worked extremely hard to take over a dental practice, while still making time to nerd out with me about a video game or take off for a weekend concert. He was obsessed with politics, science, and guitars. He could be a genius in the kitchen, but filled the house with smoke as often as I do. In the last six months, I knew he really loved me, and we talked about our careers, the adventures we were going to have, the life we wanted to live together. Every day I was amazed to have found my person, and I felt so lucky and optimistic about the direction we were going. Neither of us wanted to rush getting a house together or getting married (we were both incredibly busy at work, and he had just taken on a huge financial burden to become a business owner). He was so happy, and had accomplished so much just recently.
He died without warning. He stopped answering my calls, and I thought nothing of it until the next day. I drove to his house and found the place flooded. He'd had a heart attack in the shower, and it was far too late for me to do anything. I am 29, and he was only 33. The following weeks have been unbearable. I had to help pack up or throw out all of his things until his parents could drive in from out of state. I had to communicate with the property owner and detectives. I had to fly back to his hometown, where we've visited twice, for the funeral service. I've had all of his friends and family contacting me, asking "Why?" and telling me how much he loved me and clearly wanted to marry me. I feel like I can't leave the house or go to work without experiencing his absence. I've been binge-watching Netflix and crying on my couch every morning. By the evening, I just feel empty and I hate myself for trying to think of the future and "moving on."
I'm sorry for oversharing, but I really need someone to talk to.
I'm so very sorry for your shocking and sudden loss. While none of us wants to be a part of this club, I'm so very glad that it exists. You'll find lots of support here, folks who can talk to you and more importantly, listen when you need to talk. As wonderful, thoughtful and supportive our friends and family are, until they have had a loss like ours, it's tough for them to get it. It's still so fresh for you, you're just raw right now. I remember the early days after I lost my husband, I sat on the sofa with my dogs, binge watching (well only half watching - really just had it on for back ground noise) Gilmore Girls on Netflix. You can't hate yourself for thinking about the future, life will go on and eventually you'll jump back onto the wagon. Just give yourself all of the time you need, be patient and kind to yourself. You'll never get over this but you will get through it and in the meantime, just keep swimming... hugs to you Jinnea
Thank you so much for the kind words.
My name is Susan ( BajaSusana) I live in La Paz, Baja California Sur.
My sweet husband of 36 years died on July 27th. After a year of being sick and in pain, he looked at his future and refused treatment. He was in the hospital here in La Paz. I had to fend off well meaning nurses, but they let him die without pain and in peace.
His birthday September 27 will mark two months. I am 68 this would have been his 83rd birthday. Until this year, no one would have guessed his age by his looks or behavior.
We had talked frankly about his dying, and I thought that I was prepared. All of you know, that you cannot be prepared for the loss of someone that you love. I feel as if my heart and lungs have been ripped from my body.
Our friends and his colleagues have been wonderful. And there was a lovely memorial for him at the institute where he worked until two years ago.
Now I am learning to be alone, and to live life mindfully and fully. He made the choice not to have further treatment to be pain free and to relieve me from the burden of caring for him. This gift will not be squandered.
I am an atheist, so please do not offer prayers or statements about god or an afterlife.
Welcome and let me say I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband was also 15 years older than me and no one could believe it. Your husband sounds like a wonderful and selfless man (and that’s a fabulous photo if you two). I think you will find a lot of support on this forum. Like you I’m trying to make the very most of my life as I learned that hard lesson about just how quickly it can be over (like you, I’m an atheist so I believe that this is it!). Hugs to you!
thank you for your kind words.
I have joined the Atheist Humanist group.
It is not very active, perhaps it can use more energy!
And life changesuin an instant! Now I am alone.Alone in a crowd. Learning how to live as a single woman!
A hug back at you!
Thanks so much, I should have said, my name is Peggy. I’m going to check out the atheist humanist group, maybe we can shake it up a bit!