Thank you so much. One song I listen to a lot is Heaven needed a Hero. My husband was also a 13 year Army Veteran.
Abigail, welcome to the group that none of us ever wanted to join. I am so very sorry for your loss and especially that you both are of the age where this should never happen. My thoughts are with you and your daughter. It is initially very daunting to navigate this world without your partner. Do you have friends or relatives close to you that can give you some help? You said something very important at the close of your post, that your Greg will gently shift you in the right direction. That really hit home because I am convinced that my husband has done the same for me since he died. I believe that you can trust that he is watching over you both. I wish the best for you and am sending you hugs.
Hello, I am a new member. I lost my wife two years ago. We were together 37 years and had a wonderful marriage. She had lots of health problems her last few years. A year before she died she had a surgery that she never recovered from. She spent a lot of time in hospitals and needed lots of care when at home. She was on hospice the final month. Losing her was devastating for me for a long time. I have been through a few local support groups and continue still. I have also had some grief counseling. I am at the point now where I want to move on with my new life. I recently tried dating but my grief was still getting in the way. I have been having a real hard time with the conflicting concepts of letting go while continuing to love her.
Timbers, I am so sorry for your loss. That is a difficult situation that I'm sure many on here can identify with. How to move on while honoring your lost loved one. I am impatient to begin my new life as well, but it seems as if it keeps moving further with each step I take towards it. I think the message is that it is a process that never really ends, it just gets a little easier with each step.
I hope you attain some contentment in your quest for a new life. I think that being true to your loved one and seeking a new source of happiness can exist together. It is some formula that we yet have to discover.
I was widowed May 2019. My husband was scheduled for heart valve replacement surgery. He died waiting for insurance to approve the surgery. We had just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. My father also died in February 2019, so last year was very difficult for me and my two twenty-something year old children. Last year ended with the birth of our first grandchild. The baby is a blessing, but I mourn the fact that my husband didn't get to meet the baby.
Sorry-my husband and dad both died in 2018. I’ve had horrible brain fog since my husband died.
bookworm23, I am so sorry for your losses. Such a tragedy regarding your husband's surgery. That should never happen. I knew you meant 2018. We get so used to intentionally remembering to write 2019, that sometimes we forget that's not what we mean.
Enjoy your grandbaby. They are a joy and reminder that there is new life, however hopeless things tends to feel.
Hugs to you in your healing.
I joined the other day as I lost my fiance to an overdose in May 2017.
He had problems but he was a great man.
It’s been seven weeks since since my soulmate was taken from me. I have anxiety all the time, and feel like I’m loosing my mind at times. I’m so so lonely. My husband and I did everything together, we never did anything apart even before he got sick. We were together 33 years, celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary last October. I went from living in my parents house to living with Robb.
Robb had diabetes and in the last 5 years suffered all the side affects of it. It was his eyes first then his heart, neuropathy,ulcers, kidney disease and he lost both legs. On February 17/2019 he passed from a heart attack in hospital. They tried but could not get his heart going again. I stayed in the hospital with him all times. He was only alone when I would go to the cafeteria or pick up our daughter for a visit. And of all things he was alone when he had the heart attack I had went to the cafeteria. Maybe if I’d been there he would still be here. Actually I’m pretty certain he would be.
Now I have to learn how to navigate life pretty much alone. Robb took care of all the financial stuff I’m trying but I’m struggling, really struggling do I sell my house or stay, what do I do with the life insurance. I’m so lost.
I hope to be some help to people here as well.
To give you an idea this is the post my daughter made for him. One other thing before I paste, it’s been really difficult on her as well Robb passed the day before her birthday, and she is completely different from me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but she is closed up. She’s had a couple blow ups and there always directed at me.
(This is so so hard to have to post.
On Sunday, February 17, my dad, Robb, had a heart attack and passed away at Belleville General Hospital.
We are still in a lot of shock, and truly devastated right now.
My mum stayed in the hospital the entire time he was there, everytime.
She is broken, losing her soul mate so young. They were and always will be each others everything.
Dad, you will be so dearly missed by everyone who's lives you have touched.
Your kind of strength and loyalty is awfully rare; your dedication to your passions is so admirable.
We all love you so much Papa
We will love you always and forever
If anybody feels the need to, you can message my mum or myself, and we will get back to you when we are able to.
As per his request, he will be cremated and no viewing.)
I just read your post and know what it feels like to be in your position. I lost my wife on January 20, 2017 to septic shock. It came on suddenly and the doctors were not able to get a handle on what her problem was until it was too late. Then on February 11. 2018 I lost my mother so the last two years have been a real struggle for me. No one can really tell you how to do things for yourself as each case seems to be different for different people. The one thing I would suggest is to slow play this the best that you can and joining this group could be a good thing for you. If you are also thinking of a local support group Grief Share offers a pretty good program which last for about 3 months and it is one night a week. Since it is supported by many churches it tends to be somewhat religious as long as that will not bother you. As you meet and talk to people going through this journey you are going to hear all kind of stories. Some move on quickly trying to find a replacement person and others take more time before moving on and some others may simply be done for live.
My wife and I met a little later in life in our early 40's and we married for 20 years. If you would like to discuss any further I will be happy to communicate with you.
Sorry for your loss,
Thank you Larry. Itwoud be nice to talk the only support I have is my daughter. It’s painful when you think there’ll be friends and family to support you in times like this and then nothing it’s hurt me a lot.
Im so sorry for your loss as well (((((hugs)))))
Be gentle with yourself. It takes time. Everyones journey is different but we share a loss and the grief. If you can talk to counsellors or possibly find support groups. Books are great on grief. I found "The Journey of Grief" written by Dr. Allen Wolfelt very helpful. I read it three times a least. It helped be to find some peace. Hopefully you are surrounded by lots of loving family and friends within your reach. A widow once gave my sound advice wait a year before making any major decisions providing you can.
I am a newby here and this site must have some great things to offer. It will help on the journey.
On Day at a Time.