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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Dear InsideLove,

I am glad that my observation, brought you comfort. The double-edged sword that we carry on our journeys not only bears the blood of our wounded hearts, but grants us the ability to offer drops of healing and comfort to others similarly wounded.

You may find that not only does your love for each other remain, it will continue to grow. 

Wishing you peace and strength in your journey.

Dear ForeverMourning,

While you are your best reliable resource, please know that truly compassionate and healing individuals do exist out there. Keep your eyes ears and, most importantly, your heart open.  You will find many of those here - even if only virtually.  

My father recently passed last October 24th and, while our experiences are not exactly the same, only now can my own mother truly understand some of what I went through and, in some respects, continue to go through.  That's not to say that only those who have experienced our type of loss can be of comfort - only that they can somehow empathize with our experiences.

Welcome! You’ve found the right place.

Our dog was the biggest help throughout this process. The number of people who disappointed me during the last year is long. I can completely relate to the good intentions going to crap. Silly me, I believed people who said if you need anything, let me know. 

I highly recommend attending a Camp Widow if you can. 

Hi.  I'm a new member.  I lost my husband and best friend on Feb 1, 2018.  He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in June '17 and nothing has been the same since.  We were imperfectly perfect for each other :)   I've never known anyone who LOVED life so much.  He didn't waste a moment of it.  We had plans, we had grandchildren, we had.    Now I have.  I have to keep going but alone.  I am moving through each day and I want to honor him and his love for life.  Sometimes the grief is in my throat and chokes me, sometimes it clenches my stomach, sometimes it just creeps around my chest.  Everything is changed, every thing is a first, first trip to the grocery store with out shopping with him in mind, first trip to the bank, etc..  Every moment is uncomfortable and I feel like a fish out of water.  My family and friends are here for me but we all know there is nothing that can be done other than breathe through it all and sit with it.  I can't reconcile this.  How could that amazing, nurturing, intelligent, warm man NOT be here?  It seems impossible yet here I am without him.  So I carry on with each moment, I walk the dogs, I care for myself, I get out in the world and live because those are all things he did so beautifully.  

DeeDee I am so sorry for your loss. Each of us in this community, knows to varying degrees, the depth of your sorrow and anguish. You will find what you might seek here in this place is a place for you to be with other - as you call it - fish out of water. For me, it'll be 6 months on Feb 28.

We each want a different ending to our story. One where we are still living, happily, ever, after. 

Moment by moment it is now DeeDee. Sometimes anything, everything, nothing brings a wave of emotions that come over me. My husband lived every day of our 49 years together, 47 married, with a passion of, this day is better than yesterday. Then, of course, it wasn't.

I'm sorry you're here and glad you found your way to a most caring and supportive community. 

Thank you.  The roller coaster ride that began with the diagnosis is not over.  

Hi everyone, I'm a new member.

My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in January 2016, and went into remission in June 2016.We had some of our most enjoyable time together while he was healing and we were celebrating his recovery.

By October of the same year, he began having rounds of pancreatitis. By January 2017, the doctors had located a brain tumor and determined that the pancreatic cyst they had been watching was actually the spreading cancer. He passed away in July 2017.

I have been doing fairly well with it, I suppose. I had a lot of time for anticipatory grief, as the end result was apparent to me months before it happened. That didn't make losing him easy by any means, but I think it really helped me to adapt. I have found myself changing in a lot of positive ways lately, and I am settling into my new life. I knew that his passing would cause change in me, but I didn't know exactly how it would happen. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm establishing a new normal.

I am 37 years old, and he passed away at age 46. We were together for 16 years, married 12.

hugs myranndah

myranndah sorry to have to meet it. It's a wonderful community. 

Hello all!

It feels weird to be here in those circumstances but here I am, part of a community I never thought I would join one day. I'm Marie-Christine and I have been a widow for five years now. I had the joy of living with my husband for seven years before that. Basically together for seven years physically, married for a year and a half and trying to make sense of what happened for five year and two months.

I'm only 32 so many people tell me I'll find love again and I know so in my heart. I have been dating for a while, putting my heart out there and trying to just reconnect with what it is to be going out with someone and enjoying life. I have had deep and pleasant times on my own as well and just content to exist and go for my dreams like my husband always encouraged me to do.

I'm here because somehow I need to tell my story and feel connected to others who experienced something similar. I'm here because there is someone I really care about whom I had a sponteneous date with six weeks ago (the day following my husband's death anniversary) and I couldn't stop talking about my husband even if it did hurt this wonderful man. It's like I was possessed and couldn't help it. I wasn't living in the present but in the past and I got to be so clearly aware : ``As long as I bring the past back, there is no room for the present or the future. It won't bring my husband back from the dead, only scare the ones who try to be with me.``

I was wondering if anyone else got hijacked by memories on a date? How did you manage to go past that and find some peace? 

I don't know how active I will be on this forum but I am glad to here and thankful to everyone for sharing and opening their hearts.  I might give more details on the story but for now it's ok. I don't feel like opening the wound again. All I will say is he was 18 years older than me and we were planning a family together. He died of a sudden disease -within 14 hours of getting to the hospital- before we had a chance to have children. I miss him every day, I feel honored and lucky for this chapter in my life.

We're glad to have you here. I haven't dated so I can't answer your question.

Pursuit2006 sorry to have to meet here. It's a wonderful community. My husband of 47 years just died 6 months ago so I cannot help you with your question.

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