This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

This is possibly going to be very scattered, so I apologize in advance. But it's also raw.

I know this is totally irrational, but I feel guilty about seeking therapy. The self-hater in me, maybe? I feel like I should hurt and I should suffer in order to truly grieve my Marcus. That if I'm not hurting, I'm getting "over" him?

I hadn't had these feelings before yesterday, but I absolutely canNOT shake them today. I have a friend a couple hours away who is a licensed therapist who helps me on some of the "lighter" things. She reached out to me yesterday, just to see how I've been doing, and I told her I was thinking about starting therapy, but I'm so hesitant to go. My girls have been seeing their therapists since March - the accident was in January - and I didn't think twice about putting them in.

So why am I okay with "punishing" myself by hurting? I think it's some twisted thought in my mind that since he's gone, hurting = love continuing. But I can love and not hurt, right? If I'm not hurting, am I still honoring him? Do I still love him as fiercely if it doesn't feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest?

My friend suggested I look into EMDR as opposed to talk therapy because it's been so good with trauma-related therapy needs. Does anyone have any experience with EMDR? 

Views: 204

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

And PS: don't feel guilty!

I wrote about EMDR in your blog "Fury" ...

It processes trauma in relieving/eliminating its silent internal effects, however, it does not cure grief. We have a natural built in long acting grief processing system for that part which is highly beneficial when learning how to work w/it ...

All the best ...


© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service