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At 4 years, I am in the deepest depression and can't find my way out.  I was better in the first years than I am now.  I am on an antidepressant and seeing a therapist, but I've lost all hope.  I was exercising but all my energy is gone. I make myself get out, but am anxious to get back home.  Has anyone else gotten worse as time goes by?  I am hesitant to post this, I don't want to scare those who are earlier in their grief, but I have nowhere else to turn. There are no widows groups close to me. I can't believe this has happened to me.  I was always a strong person.  

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Yes, 3 and a half years for me. I moved to FL last year to get a fresh start, a very active community. Joined clubs, lunch groups, etc. It was good (better than my old home) but now the novelty has worn off and I am so tired of being alone.

But I am so not interested in dating.

Hugs to you all.


I'm a year in, and the frequency is getting less and less, but still minor things trigger me. While I understand this is normal, it still sucks when it happens. WRT calls from vultures, at first it was like the teenagers storming the gates at a Beatles concert. I changed my phone numbers, email addy, all financial accounts, but their relentless "seek and destroy" missions get through anyway. Just today, I've had 3 robocalls from the same number, in the past couple weeks it hits about 5-6 times a day. There is a special place in hell for these low lifes.

Hello Linda - I'm not at all sure if this helps...but right now I'm in a worse place than I was a few years ago (I will post my tales soon) - so...for whatever it's worth - it's possible.

I guess perhaps I'd your memories bring back good feelings?

I would not say I am depressed. But like today when I kept myself busy all day and have yard work that my husband always liked to do but is a chore for me and had my lonely supper and watched a video and the loneliness swept over me.  And my eyes teared. It surprised me.  Am almost at 7 months. And I know this is the rest of my life.  And I am doing things and inviting people and am starting a ladies group this summer.  But none of it takes the place of a spouse. You know.

Mrs.Linda      Seven  months  is  no time  at all  for  healing  your  grief!  You  need  to allow  more  time.....I'm  at   seven  years and all  the  things  my husband  did for 44yrs  became  my  responsibility.  Now  many things I can no  longer  do  physically  so  they   either  don't  get   done  (  like  garden  veggies  and  flowers which are  no longer  grown)  or  I have  to hire  someone  to do the  work.  On  a fixed  income  it's  a constant  struggle to find  money  for  this.  Never  ever  imagined  life  would  become  so  hard...the  loneliness compounds  all the  other  life  changes like  aging.  I am  surviving  but  not  thriving without my  lifelong  spouse. You  have  a  good  start  keeping   busy-   be sure  you  program  in  how  you will get  all those  things  done  when  you no longer can do them yourself.   I don't  know  your  age,  but  are  you looking  for  or  thinking  of a new  male companion?  Younger  people  should  consider  this because  the  loneliness  of  old  age  is not  filled  by  just going  places  and doing  things.   I'm  just  saying  it  like  I'm living  it....Health and  wealth  have  a  HUGE  impact  on  thriving  through  your  grief  after  you are  widowed.  You  cannot  know  this  until you  are  there.   I believe that  if  we do not  give  up  and  we  do  not  give  in~  we  win!

Yesterday at the 7 month anniversary of Dan's passing, I seemed to hear his whistle!  That was rather strange.  I have not had any sense of his presence or anything all this time but I heard his distinctive whistle. Not sure what that means. 

And tomorrow after all the struggles with financial things, the last piece may finally be put in place!  We shall see.  Already just last week I had to return 5G that the insurance company decided had been overpaid.  I had gone back and forth and back and forth with them already numerous times and two months ago they said all was finally clear. Not so fast!  They would deny they got the death certificate and then they would find it. It was only one of the hassles as I am sure most of you know about. But it could be that things will be settled tomorrow!  One less thing.

When my grief ended, so did my emptiness, loneliness & pining ...

That time will come for everyone ...

Nice thought but not reality for many. 

I wish I didn't have to agree with Rich...but I do.

Missing what once was there and was good...yeah.

so very  true....grief  can  temper  or   even  end for  a few...but  emptiness, loneliness  and  pining ending? not  reality  for many  irrespective  of  time  passing.

It's been almost 2 months since I started this thread and I feel even worse now.  I don't see the emptiness, loneliness and pining ending.  I also suffer from severe depression and anxiety, which makes it hard to see any glimmer of hope.  My grown children are both going through crises that I need my husband here to help me cope with. The good memories from the past are clouded over by what my life is like now.  I pray constantly, but am losing my faith.  I don't know how much longer I can go on.  Not self pity, just reality.

Faith is the most important part of this process, don't lose yours.


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