At 4 years, I am in the deepest depression and can't find my way out. I was better in the first years than I am now. I am on an antidepressant and seeing a therapist, but I've lost all hope. I was exercising but all my energy is gone. I make myself get out, but am anxious to get back home. Has anyone else gotten worse as time goes by? I am hesitant to post this, I don't want to scare those who are earlier in their grief, but I have nowhere else to turn. There are no widows groups close to me. I can't believe this has happened to me. I was always a strong person.
Yes, 3 and a half years for me. I moved to FL last year to get a fresh start, a very active community. Joined clubs, lunch groups, etc. It was good (better than my old home) but now the novelty has worn off and I am so tired of being alone.
But I am so not interested in dating.
Hugs to you all.
I'm a year in, and the frequency is getting less and less, but still minor things trigger me. While I understand this is normal, it still sucks when it happens. WRT calls from vultures, at first it was like the teenagers storming the gates at a Beatles concert. I changed my phone numbers, email addy, all financial accounts, but their relentless "seek and destroy" missions get through anyway. Just today, I've had 3 robocalls from the same number, in the past couple weeks it hits about 5-6 times a day. There is a special place in hell for these low lifes.
Hello Linda - I'm not at all sure if this helps...but right now I'm in a worse place than I was a few years ago (I will post my tales soon) - so...for whatever it's worth - it's possible.
I guess perhaps I'd ask...do your memories bring back good feelings?
I would not say I am depressed. But like today when I kept myself busy all day and have yard work that my husband always liked to do but is a chore for me and had my lonely supper and watched a video and the loneliness swept over me. And my eyes teared. It surprised me. Am almost at 7 months. And I know this is the rest of my life. And I am doing things and inviting people and am starting a ladies group this summer. But none of it takes the place of a spouse. You know.
Mrs.Linda Seven months is no time at all for healing your grief! You need to allow more time.....I'm at seven years and all the things my husband did for 44yrs became my responsibility. Now many things I can no longer do physically so they either don't get done ( like garden veggies and flowers which are no longer grown) or I have to hire someone to do the work. On a fixed income it's a constant struggle to find money for this. Never ever imagined life would become so hard...the loneliness compounds all the other life changes like aging. I am surviving but not thriving without my lifelong spouse. You have a good start keeping busy- be sure you program in how you will get all those things done when you no longer can do them yourself. I don't know your age, but are you looking for or thinking of a new male companion? Younger people should consider this because the loneliness of old age is not filled by just going places and doing things. I'm just saying it like I'm living it....Health and wealth have a HUGE impact on thriving through your grief after you are widowed. You cannot know this until you are there. I believe that if we do not give up and we do not give in~ we win!
Yesterday at the 7 month anniversary of Dan's passing, I seemed to hear his whistle! That was rather strange. I have not had any sense of his presence or anything all this time but I heard his distinctive whistle. Not sure what that means.
And tomorrow after all the struggles with financial things, the last piece may finally be put in place! We shall see. Already just last week I had to return 5G that the insurance company decided had been overpaid. I had gone back and forth and back and forth with them already numerous times and two months ago they said all was finally clear. Not so fast! They would deny they got the death certificate and then they would find it. It was only one of the hassles as I am sure most of you know about. But it could be that things will be settled tomorrow! One less thing.
When my grief ended, so did my emptiness, loneliness & pining ...
That time will come for everyone ...
Nice thought but not reality for many.
I wish I didn't have to agree with Rich...but I do.
Missing what once was there and was good...yeah.
so very true....grief can temper or even end for a few...but emptiness, loneliness and pining ending? not reality for many irrespective of time passing.
It's been almost 2 months since I started this thread and I feel even worse now. I don't see the emptiness, loneliness and pining ending. I also suffer from severe depression and anxiety, which makes it hard to see any glimmer of hope. My grown children are both going through crises that I need my husband here to help me cope with. The good memories from the past are clouded over by what my life is like now. I pray constantly, but am losing my faith. I don't know how much longer I can go on. Not self pity, just reality.
Faith is the most important part of this process, don't lose yours.