Dear widowed friends,
You know, in the first weeks and months it did not take much to bring tears to my eyes when thinking about my husband. Of course I think of him every single day and sometimes I can just be driving and I can tear up thinking about Dan...
But today I lost it at the DMV! It has been almost 10 months and this is the last thing (I hope) that I needed to do which is change the titles of the vehicles to my name only. And it hit me again and I started to cry right when I was working with the employee. I did not want to! I was totally surprised at my reaction here. And kind of embarrassed too.
Has this happened to you? You are just going on with your day and errands and something hits your grief spot and the tears come or the "blow to the stomach" comes. I rather get a bit teary when I write here actually. I sure do miss my husband. I met him when I was 20 years old.
Hope to see my honey in heaven one day.
Hi - well, perhaps ironically, I tend to have my moments in the car while driving to/from work or whatnot. That's where I'm by myself...and I cannot stand being by myself, so to speak, so I've found the world of podcasts (mostly "amateur"/fan sci-fi and the such shows which are better than a lot of stuff on TV), so I'm not... alone.
Because if I am...I tend to fall apart in the car.
(I met my wife when I was 21 and she was 20 :-)
Yes, I believe we all have those times and occasions when something breaks loose and we feel our loss, sometimes with the impact as if it were brand new.
I call my times, "Zingers." It can be some scene on the TV, or, it can happen standing out on the deck of our home. The impact can bring tears for many minutes, or simply brush by in a flash. Mine have, over the years, generally weakened, and they only last a few minutes. When mine occur, I wade through them. I talk to Susan, tell her I love her, and thank her for her kiss.
Since mine have weakened over the 6, nearly 7 years since her death, I can only hope that yours too will weaken and not leave you as incapacitated as they can in the beginning.
Fathers Day, anniversaries, birthdays, I expect to feel the sadness, the other times when I hear a favourite song, see couples holding hands or hear someone say " what would you like to do?" those are the times that can make me tear up unexpectedly. It is a case of being prepared for the sudden sadness and putting that smile back on my face however I feel.