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I feel like i should be doing something but then again  I;m not sure if I;m readt to

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Hi Hopesmom - sometimes the urge to do something comes before the energy to do it, or the knowledge of what "it" is. I'm a bit stuck myself - my therapist asked if there was something that I always wanted to do...and my mind was blank. 

I'm taking baby steps. If it's a good day and I want to be out and about, I find a way to do it. If I'm feeling down and just want to watch 8 hours of reruns, well, that's my day. Do what you are ready for, and don't feel like you have to do more just because you think that's what you are supposed to do.

We get a pass. 

For a long time, I wasn't ready to do anything other than lay on the couch reeling & crying. It was almost too much to get up to use the bathroom or feed myself much less get another box of tissues. The widow website I frequented back in the day had a once a week reminder to shower w/shaving as an option as well as to change PJ's. Another topic was "What's for Breakfast" - this one always brought many laughs. It was cigarettes & coffee to eating pizza left on the counter from last night's dinner to eating w/food falling out of the mouth ...
For me, life went into a downward spiral of slow motions & accomplishments unaccustomed to. Simple tasks took alot of energy just to think about doing & became another reason to cry from the lack of strength to mobilize. Grief caused a chemical imbalance that worsened leading to the doctor for help w/depression. The medication helped w/the depression, but not the grief since it is a natural process that works over time ...
Therapy can also be beneficial, however, only a psychiatrist can prescribe meds. A caring & observant counselor, therapist &/or other mental health professional can only suggest a visit to your doctor for medication. For whatever reason, some mental health workers do not believe in combined therapy. If you think a depression medication will be helpful, visit your doctor for an exam ...
Do what is best for you ...

I am 14 months out from losing my husband.  I still have days where I know I should do something but I don't have the energy or will to get up and do it.  The first few months I did not get off the couch to do anything but take my kids to school and pick them back up again.  I'd forget to eat, shower, change clothes.  I slept more than I was awake.  Slowly, and I don't even know how, I started to come out of it for the most part.  I have days where I actually feel productive, and there are some days that turn into a week of nothingness.  I'm told its a normal part of grieving and to just take one day at a time.

I have a question, I'm not ready to date yet but I'm really afraid of meeting someone, getting involved, getting feelings and then opening my heart . Taking the risk at love and then this person dies! I don't know if I can ever move on to that phase because of my fears.I don't know if I could handle that kind of loss again. I tend to over think things and maybe this is just one of those things I should just let happen and not worry.


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