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My daughter will be 5 years old in July. She was very close to her mum.  Her mum died suddenly and she did not have the chance to say goodbye.  Even if she did i do not know if that would have meant anything because I understand that the concept of death for them is that it is not a permanent situation.  Now she keeps saying she misses mummy.  I took her up to the funeral mass and she saw the obituary posters everywhere and was sombre.  At some point she asked if it was mummy in the box and I said yes.  A few months earlier she had attended the burial of her uncle and knew that people in the boxes never come out again.  Now I needed her to know that her mother had passed because she is a very sharp kid, extrovert and very expressive.  At the grave side she the box lowered into the grave.  She rode with me back to town because my cousin who was brought up by my wife and I had to leave to write an exam 700km away.  She cried all the way and asked for my cousin because outside her mother and I she was the next person she was most familiar with.  Now we have tried to settle down to our new routine and things can be quite exasperating.  My cousin is trying to deal with her loss in her own ways.  I am trying to earn a living for us.  My girl did not want to go to school for a while but has now.  She would not stay alone in any part of the house and can be extra difficult with my cousin.  My cousin is 19 and i want to think she lacks the experience to deal with the situation.  I have tried to school her that she should be patient with her but that seems not to be working.  I believe if she makes a conscious effort to especially cuddle and woo her she would win her over.  Coupled with this, my daughter's perception is high and she can detect ill feelings directed at her a long way off.  Worse still, Support groups are non-existent for adults talk less of kids.  I saw an article posted by Catherine Saint Louis Otherwise known as supa duppa fresh in the New York Times see link above. I have printed it out for my cousin to read.  I feel it might help her.  I am in a lot of quandary on what to do with the whole situation. I would appreciate any and every reasonable suggestions here.

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