How do I know if I'm recovering, In Denial, In some kind of a fog or what ? It's like this, some days I feel O.K. :-) Then I have sad day... So how do I know where I stand now? Is that back and forth feeling normal? ( Meaning, happy one day, and sad the next day. )
Thanks for any help.
Paul passed on Dec. 7, 2016... ( You said you didn't know how long it's been for me .) ... The crying seems to slowed down a little, But it still comes at the oddest time. It will be nice when it becomes manageable.
Thank You for your reply,
What you describe is perfectly "normal" for what you (we) are going through. I have no idea how long we go through this. I know it depends upon the individual, and many add to that comment that it also depends upon the quality/intensity of your love was. I can tell you that the gut wrenching can't breath pain gradually subsides (becomes softer) over time. Trying to duck it, or side step it does not work (it comes back and bites ya in the butt). We each have to "wade" straight through it and meet it head on. The "fog" is normal. I think it is part of our self defense to such an emotional blow to our whole being. We Susan passed, I was in a fog, and it seems it was for a little over a year. We get our bill for our land taxes in January, and our custom was that we would pay half in January when it arrived and then pay the other half in June. I walked in, in August and spoke to the county Treasurer, saying that I was not sure if I'd paid the second half and she looked it up. "I'm sorry Frank, you did not pay the first half yet." I explained that my wife had passed in December, and that I'd thought I had. I wrote the check for the full amount, got a hug!, and left convinced that I must have been in that fog they all talk about after all.
Keep writing. Keep talking. IT does get softer and it is easier to move on through the days.
I'm glad yo said it was normal. Normal is good. ... :-) The Fog sounds like a good thing....
Thanks for the reply,
I have been fine until I see something that brings up painful memories. Beautiful and painful at the same time. Last night I was able to watch the " Tribute To Paul " which the Funeral Home made for me without crying. A very touching DVD.
Sometimes I think that I'm not feeling better, but I can cope with it a tad bit easier because I knew he was slowly passing away since 2015. There is a name for that, I just can't think of it right now.
That wonderful fog ! Just imagine how painful life would be without it. I am starting to think of it as a BUFFER for the heart and mind.
Your right, that is the term. ( Anticipatory Grief ) If the " fog " is a protective thing, I guess I should be happy about it.
So your a book addict also :-) I just finished an Audio Book called " When The Lights Went Out " ...
Complete with a little Romance, Lots of Mystery and a beautiful snooty woman to hate LOL ... It was good. ( Not heavy reading... I don't think I could handle heavy right now.) ... Now my big point... I listened to it on OverDrive on my Ipad. When I listen to a story, it's a voice to listen to. Like I'm not alone. I know that sounds weird, but it helps me. ... If you ever read something that you think I may like, please let me know.... I can't find anything that would be considered self help for a widow.