A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Sometimes I get so caught up in my own grief, I tend to overlook my kids. I have three, ages 9, 11 and 14. It's the 14 year old boy (almost 15) that seems to be grieving the hardest. I am so concerned for him! He refuses to talk to a counselor and I have zero family around. My husband's family all loves out of state. My 11 year old daughter who was also very close to her dad is like an ice queen, she shows no emotion. The 9 year old moved on like nothing ever happened. What are your experiences with your children?? How do I help my heartbroken son? He was so close to his dad....
If you are able, look up Camp Comfort Zone for your kids, it is free and maybe you will be able to get them into a session nearby you, there are various locations throughout the states. I haven't been able to get my son into the one we registered for because it was already full, but I've heard nothing but wonderful about these camps.
My son is now 11 (just turned 11 last week), he was 10 when his dad died. I was glad that I went to a counselor myself because the first thing my counselor said was "Don't expect your son to grieve like YOU think he should be grieving." That was an eye opener. I was lucky that my son's school embraced him after my husband died. My husband died unexpectedly in our bed in the middle of then night on November 5th, my son woke up to the chaos and police and EMT in the house and hid in his room, and eventually came out crying. He wanted to go back to school just less than a week later so I let him. The teachers and school embraced him and he started seeing the school counselor who did grief work with him. It was very hard for me to realize I had to let go and let him go deal with his grief on his own accord and that I could not fix it for him, I had the "Mommy can fix anything." syndrome. But I told him that he could tell the counselor anything he wanted and he didn't have to tell me anything he talked about. That was hard as well because I wanted to know what was going through his head! He went to counseling through May and stopped when school let out. The counselor said he can start again in August if he wants to, so we shall see what happens when school starts.
Perhaps when school starts your children can see the school counselor, at least as a start, and go from there.
But I do recommend at least looking into Camp Comfort Zone, I've heard so many tremendous things about it.