A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I am right there with you. I stay busy with work, the kids, family, and friends. I get incredibly lonely especially after putting the kids to bed and the house gets so quiet. I miss just having my husband around...the laughter, the talks, the smiles, the fun, the feeling of being desired and loved by him. I am not sure how to handle the loneliness. Friends wonder if it is time to start dating. I can now even think about it without getting sick to my stomach, but I still want the relationship I had with my husband and not someone else. It is a very tricky road. Taking it one day at a time...
I don't. I wallow in it. My situation makes it so I can't go out and see friends- and they don't come to my place most of the time. A month from today will be 2 years and I have hated every minute of it and have so much anger and pure hate for those who abandoned me.
Greyeyes - I know you're carrying an extra heavy burden and I so understand the anger and hate. Most of our friends disappeared after the first year of the cancer battle. They just went on with their lives ... without us. It hurt terribly. I carried around a lot of anger for a good, long while. Really ugly anger. But one day I realized that I was giving them the power over how I was feeling and they did not deserve to hold that power. Those emotions are hurting you, not them. Try to purge these people from your thoughts and feelings. They are not worth it. You are worth more.
I've just hit the 3 year mark since my husband passed away and I feel your pain. In the three years that have passed, I made the decision to move to be closer to family and I think it only made my loneliness worse. At least in VA I had friends though many did separate and go their own ways after a few months. It is interesting to me that after 20+ years of knowing people and calling them friends you realize that after you lose your spouse that in my case, "he" was the common connection and once he was gone, so were they. Here in FL though I thought having my family closer would help the loneliness but it hasn't. I failed to realize they have their own lives and they don't have always have time for me and I don't want to constantly be imposing on them. Making friends at my age isn't easy...most people at my age (49) have friendships that have been developed over the years, just like mine were in VA and they aren't looking to add more friends as a norm.
I am okay with being alone, I just don't like the loneliness that I feel...I miss the conversations, the laughter, just knowing he is in the other room, completing each others sentences, etc. I keep the television on just for noise. Maybe it won't be this way forever and least I hope not.