Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I had an interesting conversation with my doctor today so I thought I'd share it with you all.

So, today I went to the doctor intent on finding out why my whole body muscles and joints hurt.   My joints have a dull ache and my muscles seem to be drawing up and always so very tight.  I was sort worried about MS or fibromyalgia.  So, he said to me that one of his medical professors in college actually did his thesis for medical school on the phenomena of grief and physical pain.  Now, my doc is a young hip dude and he thought while listening to the lecture that his teacher was crazy until he started seeing patients of his own and also, having it hit really close to home.  He went on to explain it can attack the digestive system, the nervous system and cause migraines along with muscular skeletal pain.  

He told me he'd do all the lab work ups I wanted but he'd bet me a dollar they would come back negative for every disease there is.  I love this guy and trust him completely.  So, I'm accepting for now that my grief is literally paining me.   

I guess what I'm wanting is an informal poll of anyone having or having had a physical manifestation of grief.  

Views: 508

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hello!  I think you've got a great doctor.  I had massive physical pain for the first several months.  Since then (2012), it occasionally resurfaces.  I think my daughter has IBS because of this, and it made mine worse.

At the same time, I would have him run the tests - just in case - and rule everything else out.  having said that, I'm 99.9999% sure he's quite right.  Pain from grief...is very real.  The constant stress (and the various hormones/biochemicals released) puts a massive strain the body...and it can even cause inflammatory reactions (joint pains).

So...short answer...yes.

I am amazed you relate!  

All of this has been news to me.  Did your pain gradually go away or was it just gone one day?

Hi - it was gradual.  Over...months.  The last to go away was the "stomach" pain...and literally heart pain.

And of course everyone reacts differently, and like I said, I'd still do the blood work, just to be sure, but yes, this is very real...and all dependent on how we "process" grief.

I just hope that you'll find relief, because living with pain is not good (I know so obvious statement!).  I would also add (and Callie had a great question!) that not sleeping well significantly adds to feelings of pain and unwellness.  The sleep study will shed light on that.  Sleep is...so important.  (And sometimes the escape from...reality...) But yes, please do check that out!!!

Thanks Timelord, at least I know this can be "ridden" out.  Grief isn't for sissies! I told the doctor if I wasn't any kind of better after Christmas I'll have the blood workups done.  Meanwhile, I'll have the sleep study and see a surgeon for something unrelated.  Blah, that's enough for me to deal with for the next 3 months.

I'm glad ya'll brought up sleep, I have wondered how much it's really affecting my quality of life.  

Hi Misty,

Just curious, are you sleeping well?

Callie, heck NO but I didn't sleep well pre death either.  I'm having a sleep study done to get to the bottom of that.  

I ask because that is a common symptom with FMS. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have it as studies have been done in the past when people are deprived of sleep, these symptoms appear.  The only way I know they diagnose fibro is by process of elimination. There are something called tender points they can feel for but that is not always reliable. Any given day, that can change. I would see if you can do something to improve your sleep. Have you tried any OTC products such as melatonin?

I take sleep aides off and on Callie, I'm almost 100% positive I have rather severe sleep apnea.  Not only that, I for some unknown to me reason will force myself not to go to bed.  Dang if I know what that's about but I'm working now on forcing myself to go lay down at least.  I normally fall asleep (when I try) by 2am.  All in all I get about 5 hours of sleep or less.  I have a feeling it's one of the reasons I'm having brain fog.  

I just want to feel better.  It's bad enough being sad, but sad and in pain and exhausted is to much.  I'm fairly upbeat through all of this but it's getting harder and harder to stay that way as the hits keep coming.

Well, sleep apnea is another possibility. I understand about staying up late, I rarely go to bed before 1-2:00 AM. Reason being, when I try to go earlier, I toss and turn and get worse sleep than the five hours of better sleep by staying up. Yes of course the fog. I know all about that too. ( like you need more of that at a time like this, right?)  Neuro-transmitters in the brain help regulate our sleep. If we don’t experience the deep sleep ( when muscles and tissues repair at night) we feel unrefreshed and achy the next day.

I was diagnosed 26 yrs ago with FMS prior to its acceptance of legitimacy. It is complicated as it can mimic symptoms of other conditions all through the body. I am hopeful for you, if they can reverse your symptoms so that you don’t develop fibro before it becomes chronic. I have managed chronic pain with exercise over the years. Of course now that I am older, my list of ailments has expanded, lol. Good luck with the sleep study, hopefully that will tell them something.  Take care of you!

Yes, grief can be painful. A couple weeks after my husband's death, I was at my doctor's office, thinking I was having a heart attack. She ran some tests then told me, 

your heart is not broken, but you have a broken heart and your pain is real. Her prescription was for me to get plenty of rest, take walks outside for the fresh air, drink extra water, and be as nice to myself as I would be to a best friend. Wise woman! 

I also have fibromyalgia and live with chronic pain which seems to float around in my body. Some days or weeks are great; others, not so much. I've seen many different specialists over the years and no one has a clear path for this disease. Now I'm back to the advice that kindly older woman doc gave me before -- plenty of rest, walks outside, water, and be nice and patient with myself. 

That's pretty much what he told me to do too barbee.

I really am shocked that so many of us are affected like this.

Absolutely. Abdominal pain mostly, but also shoulder, chest, elbow and muscle cramping. Sleep is an issue too, probably contributing to the body aches. 

RSS

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service