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I had an interesting conversation with my doctor today so I thought I'd share it with you all.

So, today I went to the doctor intent on finding out why my whole body muscles and joints hurt.   My joints have a dull ache and my muscles seem to be drawing up and always so very tight.  I was sort worried about MS or fibromyalgia.  So, he said to me that one of his medical professors in college actually did his thesis for medical school on the phenomena of grief and physical pain.  Now, my doc is a young hip dude and he thought while listening to the lecture that his teacher was crazy until he started seeing patients of his own and also, having it hit really close to home.  He went on to explain it can attack the digestive system, the nervous system and cause migraines along with muscular skeletal pain.  

He told me he'd do all the lab work ups I wanted but he'd bet me a dollar they would come back negative for every disease there is.  I love this guy and trust him completely.  So, I'm accepting for now that my grief is literally paining me.   

I guess what I'm wanting is an informal poll of anyone having or having had a physical manifestation of grief.  

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Callie, thank you so much for your message.  It is really helpful to know that four years is still not enough, that my feelings aren’t unusual and that I can hope that more ease and acceptance will eventually come.  I have felt that I have run out of patience.  It seems it was easier earlier on.  I am able to get out, I will work hard at taking better care of myself and at finding greater strength.  I had stopped crying so regularly for awhile but am doing so again now and perhaps that is not bad but just part of the process.  I really do appreciate your help and your  sharing that you still have to struggle and your determinantion.  I will take to heart all of your suggestions and try to get back on track.  Thanks again.  

@ Bonnie, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down and out right now.  It's been 11 months for me and my feelings of repair are gaining strength rapidly.  Sometimes several times a day I have to "reset" my mind and think about how far I've come.  I tell myself several times a day, I can do this, I am doing this.   With the onset of cold nasty weather and DLS I fear the depression may threaten to cripple me.  After isolating myself for these past 11 months I've decided to find a job and if I can't do that I'll find some volunteer work.  I have kept busy doing some little crafts, and I may pick up a puzzle for myself to see if that will help keep me focused.  Is there anything you can do just for a little bit each day to keep your mind completely occupied?  Whatever mood you're in, please you are never alone.  Your sisters and brothers here at the village are always here with your and for you.  Love and Hugs!

Callie, you truly are a peach! Your message helped me as well! 

As many of you know, my daughter lost her father one Dec, 1 of last year, and Jerry (her day to day dad) 2 weeks later.  She is now having symptoms of heartburn/ulcer.  I've made an appt with her pediatrician and will be asking about the possibility of suppressed grief/stress being the cause.  

It is entirely possible.  I developed terrible heartburn and reflux after my husband died.  It eased up over time but I notice it flares u again when I have grief recurrences.

Same here, I had a lot of heartburn/reflux initially, but it has subsided for no apparent reason. Could very well be grief related.

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