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    My right foot has been bothering me for about 3 years. But it just got bad enough to see the Podiatrist.... He said my feet have Arthritis in them and some bone spurs. But my right foots hurts the worst. So Dr. Brock gave a Cortisone shot in my right big Toe Joint.  I didn't feel a thing. He froze the area.  But I was so close to tears anyway. Paul wasn't there to hold my hand... :-(  He always held my hand. So I texted my son... He said " Don't worry Mom, it will be like a little bee sting . " ...  Am I being selfish when I say " Where is Paul ? " shouldn't he be here taking care of me ?  Is this what I have to look forward to ? Being alone at moments when he was always right there with me ?  


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Hi Sissy,

I'm sorry that you had to go through that first alone.  When I think of all the times I went with Susan to the Doctor's, hospital ER's, surgeries, and dialysis, I was there for her.  Now, I am living through my worst fear...being alone.  I was hoping that if my health should fail that she would be there to support me.  It is not to be.

One of my sons just had surgery on his right ankle for bone spurs. One had snapped off and severed a tendon in his foot.  I picked him up when he was released after the surgery, and he spent two months up here with me. It actually did us both a tremendous lift.  We got to know each other much better and out love and bonds have grown.  He's now back to work and doing fine.  When we feel helpless, is when we need our spouse. 

Keep posting, and keep talking...  It does help, and we can strengthen and encourage you from afar.



Good Afternoon Frank,

   the Cortisone shot was close to painless... I jut missed Paul's hand holding mine. ... At age 60, I guess I still need to grow up.  I'll get there.

   I'm sorry your son had to have that done, BUT, it's great that you had a time to bond though.

    The more I post here, the better I feel. It was hard to post at first. But now I look forward to finding what other people do to overcome loneliness. 


Susan ( Sissy was my Maltese) :-) 

Wow Susan that must br hard! when you've been that close I can understand it would be a huge adjustment. ((( hugs)))

Yeah, I feel the same way.  DH ad I were always there for each other when we needed a test or a treatment under sedation and a little voice inside my head always thought, "what about when I'm alone?"  (DH was 15 years older so that was a pretty good bet.)

Just saw the dentist this AM and he noticed a bit of decay under a bridge that he thinks he can patch.  If that doesn't work, the choice is to replace the bridge or to get an implant in the space the bridge covers and (if necessary) another in the space left if the one tooth upholding the bridge has to be pulled.  I have a few implants already and the only thing I don't like about them is the price!  They're done under a general anaesthetic. 

Which was a long-winded intro to my concern:  I cannot drive after that surgery.  Most places don't want an Uber or Lyft driver; they want someone who will wait there and make sure you get back into your house safely,  But, DH isn't here anymore.  I have some friendly acquaintances at church who could probably help; there's also an outfit called Seniors Helping Seniors and I think they're $20/hour (maybe it ought to be Seniors HIRING Seniors)? 

Many things become more complicated when you live alone.

Hi Athena,

   It's so hard to lose your other half.  Did you ever think to yourself, " Paul will do this or that " So I don't need to do it " ... then it hits me, No, he can't do that anymore. It's all on me now....  I lay in bed every night and plan what I have to do the next morning.  Sometimes my mind just doesn't want to hush up and let me sleep. 

   I wish we had an outfit called " Seniors Helping Seniors "... It sounds helpful. ...   I wish you luck with your possibly upcoming surgery.



Athena I hope the patch works. At 9 weeks I have already begun to think about what happens if and when I need that driver after a test or surgery. It's bound to happen and while I do have friends who will step in, it is not the same. I miss knowing my "person"is going to be there holding my hand and getting me through whatever it is. My husband was 9 years older and while we too thought it was reasonable to assume he might go first...we never expected it to be this early. Best of luck with your dental procedures.

You have expressed my feelings exactly - what do I do now. 

There are some medical tests I should have and some dental work to be done. But what do you do when you have no one to be a driver for you- and you are right they don't want to release you to a taxi or Uber (even if I had them in this area)  so what do we do - don't go for the medical tests or procedure's.  The day will come when none of that is necessary but until then what do we do. I looked at the people around me and realized I have "activity" friends but none close enough to deal with medical concerns with me. I do not have any family in the area and the one son that does help a little is so busy with his work and his own family that there isn't much time for me. The rest of my cousins in my age group all have problems of there own and would not be able to help me.  I HATE THIS LIFE!!!!

 Here is a HUG to you in this situation, may you find a solution that works for you.

Certainly can relate to that. I felt the same way the day I had my first bone marrow biopsy. My husband would have been there too. Now we have to face all situations alone and that can be scary. Yet we just have to take a deep breath and muster up the necessary courage to face the world alone! I hope they can help you with your foot pain--we depend upon them for our mobility. I remember years ago with that plantar fasciitis, my job required a lot of walking--it was quite difficult! I had cortisone in my feet 3X before it calmed down. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Good luck, hope you find some relief.

Hi Callie,

   The Dr.already knew that I was nervous, and about Paul's passing. So he pretty much treated me kid gloves. I digress here, but the shot seems to have done it's job. I'll need one again about the end of the month. But it's worth it !!!

   Thank You for your reply!


I hope you continue to get relief. A little discomfort sometime can very well be worth it! Now that you've had the shot, it should help alleviate your anxiety a bit too. I understand your feelings about missing your husband. There will be many times and situations when we feel their absence. Each and every time something goes wrong--especially when we struggle to take care of things they used to do, we will ask why. It's never easy.

Thanks for your words Callie...  :-)

I spent about 1.5 years with Frank, taking care of him when he was sick, staying in the hospital with him when he was being treated. He was 16 years older than me. Many times I would think, "I will have to go through this someday, maybe -- alone." And I think he knew it too, and felt bad.


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