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I'm so lost.i don't know how to be happy anymore.i have no direction and no desire.I made pete my world.i just cant find a reason anymore for trying orsurviving.whats it all about.

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Today is Canada Day & everyone is celebrating, having friends over.  I took my dogs to off leash, felt so alone as most were couples.  Came home to having to paint door frames that are peeling so bad I should have done it last year. But I just feel like crap today.  Then it rained, so gave me a good excuse, now I can't do it today.  The misery of that job will wait for another day.  I may go to church tonight, hopefully it will help me feel better.  I'm sick of this lonely life. I try not to be bitter that Doug was the one who got to die, but it sure is hard.

Hugs and happy Canada Day!

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