do you know this is the real first bit of news I have really accepted,im glad its just not me ,omg that doesn't sound right.Yes I was a homebody am still.our home was our joy we enjoyed each other so much and didn't reallymiss the interaction of hobbies or clubs as such.thank you so much Ann.
Ann, I get what you are saying. I don't have any children either. I have my two cats that keep me company. You did everything with your spouse and everything revolved around that person. Now that my husband is gone, and I am getting ready to turn 52 and like you I have not interest in finding someone else you wonder what do you do next. I struggle to make it to work because I don't sleep well and stay exhausted. When you are home you are surrounded by memories of the person you lost. You think of what was and that it will never going to be that way again. You not only lost someone you love but the other half of yourself.
People don't understand unless they have went through it. My commissioner asked me about a week ago am I getting back to semi normal. I was having an emotional day and I just looked at her, no nothing is ever going to be normal again. I know she just didn't get it. It wasn't her fault because before it happened to me I didn't get it either.
Well I do get you struggle Ann. I get July will be hard for you. Those dates bring it all back again. This site has been so helpful for me. I hope it is for you also.
Ann, a year and a half is not long at all. Grief is still sharp and can take you by surprise by the sharpness and the depth.
July is a month full of memories: wedding anniversary, his birthday wrapped up in memories of his quick decline.
I am definitely at a different place now at almost 4 years. A few family members and I were planning a long overdue surprise celebration for my sister who just turned 70 in January. We weren't able to celebrate as my mom passed in March and we have been busy with that.
The day we chose to celebrate her is Ed's birthday - the 4th of July. As we planned, I was noting to myself that I was NOT sad or sorrowful. It felt good to be able to plan something like this. And while I KNOW my family members remember it's his birthday, we did not have to say anything. And that felt good.
Does this make sense? It was a different feeling - not sorrow but pleasure.
I feel the sad will lessen with time - it has for me. I know it's different for everyone. My mother was a huge influence on me. After my dad died, she chose to thrive not just survive. And it wasn't easy for her being blind. But I saw her take hold of her life and make the most of it. I am trying to do that.
Sorry for this ramble but everyone's words usually do resonate with me
I seem to be having that same problem. .. I'm OK when something is PLANNED for me to do, or to go to work. ... But when I'm home by myself, I just don't know what to do.
Ever since High School, Paul was my world.