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Hello, I am new here 

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Hello im new. Lost my soulmate 9 weeks ago. Unexpected loss. He died of cardiac arrest. I feel incredibly guilty. I watched for an hour while he was in pain feeding him tums. I want so badly to go back in time and make alm the right decisions . He would be here today had i kade different choices. Life isnt a life without him here. Its terrible. I feel horrible. Im going to grief counseling but its not helping. I miss him and need him. I waited 10yrs to find him. We were finally at a point where the kids were adukts and we were focusing on us. We had a trip planned to paris in july and we were moving to NC in august. My present and future collapsed and its non existent. Its so devastating  . I dont think i can make it thru this. 

We can't go back to what its, you make decisions with what you know at the time.  Just hold to the love you had for him.  Take it one hour, then one day, then one week at a time.  I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly to a pulmonary embolism.  I know he wants me to live the life we planned for both of us now. Ebbs and flows.... 

Hello Whitedoves,

I'm glad you found us and I'm sorry you are here, but here is the best place you can be.  Here you can scream, cry, vent, ask questions, or just read as we all talk about our loss and what we are doing and how we are coping, or not.

I lost my wife, Susan to a silent heart attack. She went to sleep on a Sunday evening, and did not wake up Monday morning.  It was due to the ravages of Diabetes.
For me it will be 6 years in December.  I can tell you that becoming active in your Grief Group, and participating with us here will help.  Over time, you will begin to climb out of this terrible pain you are in.  The more you talk about his passing, including details and feelings, the more you will help yourself.

After you have read and perhaps exchanged throughs and views with our members, you will find yourself up to participating in our Chat Room.  There you will be able to chat with us in real time, read, and see how we support each other through the days and into the nights.

This is a terrible, crushing blow, and we all wonder how we can get through it.

I'm glad you found us.

((((HUGS))))

Frank

 

I read this and it brought me to tears in more ways than one. I sent you a friend request. thank You.

Whitedoves,  I'm so sorry.  My experience is pretty similar to yours.  I had tremendous guilt but I've let a lot of it go.  Sometimes it comes creeping back and I remind myself again.  He was a grown man and knew how he felt.  Also, he was a stubborn man, had I suggested we go to the ER he probably would have told me it could wait until the next day...(my sweetie died at 11:50 pm) and we are 45mins away from a hospital.  Please try to let go of the guilt, we cannot control death.  

I know it's really hard and it seems impossible but try to take it easy on yourself.  It's so hard to just mourn your loss and all the secondary losses that come along with it  Adding guilt to the mix makes it so much harder and honestly, you have no real way to know if your love would have survived regardless.  You will get through this.  It's very early for you but hang in there you'll find it less overwhelming as time goes by.  

Hugs 

Hugs to you. I feel such pain in your "voice". While all our stories are different, we do lose the one we love and in the beginning we all second guess ourselves. What if I had done this or that. I think that's what we do. You will do it less as time goes on. But it is so hard. Please come here and share share share. Someone can really know what you are going through and will reach out a hand. We all will. Reach out to us and there will be a lot of virtual caring and guidance.

You will make it thru this. I promise. Hugs.

Hey Whitedoves.

This sounds really familiar to me...I'm new too.

You are so strong, you don't even realize it.  I'm glad you're my friend. Embrace the grief. At least that's what I've been told. This is such a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

#SorryImadeyoutaco

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