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Hello

My name is Imogen.  My experience was:  A normal weekend, he played golf, help build a friend's fence & did some yard work.  Monday morning at 5:15am he woke me up & said it hurt too much & to call 911.  They were here in about 5 minutes.  Finally they took him to the hospital, I had to go with EMT driver in his truck.  He stayed & we chatted for about 15 minutes, then a nurse came because he had to go back to work.  Her & I chatted.  After awhile I said "If you wouldn't mind could you please check what is going on?"  She left. Then came back.

Nurse:  "Sorry he's gone"

me:  "Where the heart centre?"

Nurse:  "No, he's dead"  "do you want to go in?"

That was at 6:30am.  I got his autopsy report & he actually died at 6:00am.  He was laying there for half an hour & no one was going to bother to tell me.

An Aneurysm in his aorta burst   We had no time to talk, no good bye, no nothing.

 Prior to his death, my grandmaother died, & then my best friend (on my birthday) died.

My only family is my pets. Without them & God I would never have got through this

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Imogen, that way that you were left to wait without anyone coming to you is horrible. I'm so sorry! How can that happen??  And I'm sorry that you've also lost your grandmother and your best friend recently. SO much loss. (My husband died on my birthday, also)  Have you sought out a grief support group nearby? it can be helpful to talk to others...

I did grief support in Nov that year.  Meeting people going through the same thing was helpful.  Being that I found I had to make new friends after Doug died as everyone else vanished.  I am really grateful this site exists.

Imogen xx
I have only just seen your story here. I feel for you so much. What a dreadful thing to happen and I do understand some of what you are feeling. I had no time to say goodbye either Steve just never came home from work. I had the police at my door. He collapsed while decorating a customers house. The post mortem showed a sub arachnoid haemorrhage. He had had a slight headache a few weeks before that was all.
We have suffered similar things Imogen. Six days after Steve died I found my friend of about 27 years collapsed in her house. She later died in hospital..of a bleed to the brain too. Her and Steve were in the same mortuary!
I've lost my close family to cancer. But I still have my son who lives with his partner.
My family are my dogs. I couldn't be here without them.
I'm just so,so sorry for what has happened to you and your dear husband. Life is cruel.
Hugs xxx Thank you for the friend request xxx
Imogen,
That is inexcusable. You should have been told immediately. There does seem to be a degree of coldness or aloofness, especially in ER's. When my husband was pronounced, the head nurse spoke to me briefly. She was compassionate but I had forgotten to ask her something. When I asked to speak to her for a brief minute, I was refused. I felt they just wanted me out of there. I know they have a difficult job but I would think they would want to treat people the same way they would hope to be treated in a similar situation. What they may not realize is that they may forget this situation the next day but those who have experienced loss will NEVER forget the way they were treated!

Like you, I had no chance to say goodby. It's all over in a flash and seems surreal. It took months for me to stop reliving this in my mind, thinking that maybe had I done something differently I could somehow correct it and he would still be here. I also felt guilty--why didn't I see he was not well? Well, of course we can't stop our minds from going in all these directions but what I finally had to tell myself was I could not foresee such a thing. I think when our time is up, it's up. He had health issues but was monitored by several doctors and all his "numbers" were great. He had just turned 64 and I, 59.

I am sorry for your loss, I understand how sudden loss can affect us. I felt like I was living in a bad dream and each morning I asked myself if he was really gone hoping it was just a nightmare. Grief is a rather lengthy process but we do get through it. Life may not be the same but it does get better. Wishing you peace!

Since Doug died in May I find myself remembering all the awful things. Doug's family partying in my house, my Yorkie so scared of all the noise i scooped her up & the neighbours whom I had never met, took us in for the evening.  it was just disgusting.  there was no one there for me.  

At the hospital right after Doug died the chaplain came in & said "oh, your dad died?"  I just said "Get out"  Doug was 50 i was 49.  Idiot.  Just everything seemed to go wrong.  The hearse even died after the funeral.  One of the pallbearers had to drive up his old pickup truck & give the hearse a boost.

Surreal is the word.  How can this be our life??  I generally am just depressed and sad I wake up every day.

Thinking of you

Hugs,Imogen

Thank you, hugs to you today as well.

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