"Hi Michelle, how are you?"
Is it just me, or is this a dumb question to ask a
eight week old widow?
Got it in an e-mail this morning and I really don't have the
wherewithal to answer.
Do you have a standard reply that you use? Is it
different when the question is asked in person, in
a phone call, in an e-mail?
I'd have an easier time answering in person or in
a phone call. I think I'll just reply to the e-mail
with, "It's too complicated to address in an e-mail."
I had a tough night last night, so no doubt my "grief
"hangover" is coloring my mood. So glad I have you all
to bounce this off of. Thanks for being here...
English is just a language of words. In times of real trouble, words are often inadequate. Sometimes a hug, or a shrug of the shoulders, or some other physical gesture is more expressive and says more than words. I would rather someone takes my hand, or hugs me or pats my back or in some physical way communicates rather than using words.
I am guilty of this as well, and yet, I feel I should know better.
I have found that listening, without saying a word, eye contact, being there is the most effective.
When I have been hurting, what has helped me is having a person be silent as I suffer. Words don't help. That being said, one time, a person responded, "Damn, that sucks!"
Refreshing because it was real.
reply to soulmate:
Maybe you're right. That exactly expresses my view: "Damn, that sucks!" Maybe the crappy words that wouldn't be used in a "feel better" card says what we are feeling better than pretty words.