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It's been 4.5 years since my husband of 45 years died suddenly.  I gradually fell into a deep, dark depression that nothing I try and nothing my doctor or therapist try helps.  Also major anxiety that only gets worse.  My family, once so close, has fallen apart.  I have no support system.  Is it wrong to consider just taking myself out of this hell?  I won't do it, but I want to.  Sorry for the downer, I just have nowhere else to turn.

Linda

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Please...hang in there....It has been a little over a year since I lost my darling husband of over 27 years.....sometimes I have felt as if I couldn't go on another day. I did find a Griefshare meeting in my area and that was a big help. This site has also been very helpful. This week had been a pretty good one and then I ran into a former colleague of ours who we had worked with in a nearby school district. As I gave her a quick update on the days leading up to his death I could feel my emotions changing. By the time we exchanged numbers and I drove away I was literally a basket case. She had so many nice things to say about my husband and how fortunate I was to have had such a good husband. Her words were comforting but at the same time it triggered some deep emotions. I have learned that there is not a  time table for grief. We just have to  accept and learn to manage one day at a time. I do find that when I try to stay busy and when I focus on what he would want me to be doing I don't feel as depressed. I went to a church conference earlier this year and one of the speakers acknowledged how depression is real and if one needs help don't be ashamed to seek it. I am sorry for rambling on. I hope you can find some solace in knowing that you are not alone. God bless!

I should not have posted this.  I sound like I'm wallowing in self pity.  Just a really bad day.  Sorry.

Linda

[[[HUGS LINDA]]]

Believe me, you are not alone ...

It is also good for others to know they are not alone ...

Depression is tricky, it is not easy to treat or to work with ...

Doctors make the best educated guess when prescribing a dosage ...

I had better results in cutting my once daily dose in half for 2 dosages a day. Check w/your doctor before doing this ...

In addition, I did alot of physical work around the house & yard to get endorphins pumping through my system ...

Most importantly, grieve regularly to prevent build up of stress & anxiety ...

Take care of yourself ...

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